Warriors Comedy
by Spottedfire7
Summary: Thunderclan..a place of wonders, laughs, and comedy! Watch these spunky cats strut their stuff in this funny parody! I DO NOT OWN WARRIORS OR CHARACTERS. THANK YOU FOR OVER 17,000 VIEWS AND OVER 200 REVIEWS! Read the story to understand the cover picture. And sorry about that, instead of Ivypool checking her emails in the first chapter, it was supposed be Dovewing.
1. Chapter 1

Spottedfire's Comedy Warriors

Part One

"Ooooo, he is SO dead!" growled Squirrelflight as she stomped through the undergrowth so loudly that the Riverclan warriors were probably bothered by it. She was SEETHING. "How can that idiot GREYSTRIPE bring that...that..that STUFF into the clans? Idiot, mousebrain, imbo-" she crashed headlong into Ashfur. Ashfur casually gazed upward, only for his eyes to light up. "Heeeeyyyyyy, baby!" "Go away!" Squirrelflight screamed at him. She swept past him with a flourish and raced onward to camp.

All of the sudden, Squirrelflight's phone started to scream "TEXT MESSAGE. TEXT MESSAGE." "I knew that one day would be annoying," Squirrelflight muttered as she paused to check her text messages. Leafpool!

luvly LP: WHER TH CRP R U

sxy SF: IS GREYSTRIPE THER

luvly LP: no...wait, ya! whats he carrying?

sxy SF: CRP! B ther in a mo

Squirrelflight picked up the pace and was at camp just in time to see...Graystripe putting something on the ground! Dark deliciousness! But evil to cats just the same! "NO GRAYSTRIPE! PUT. THE CHOCOLATE. DOWN!" she screeched. Greystripe looked up in sincere surprise. All of the sudden, there was a flash of white-grey, and Greystripe's body went down with a thud. "MY CHOCOLATE!" Dovewing yowled. "NEVER!" It led to an intense slap fight.

All of the sudden, Firestar raced to the middle of the slap fight, jerking them apart, pumped his paw up and down in victory, and screeched,"150 LIKES ON TWITTER AND FACEBOOK! SCORE!" He ran off again into the forest, giggling madly as Sandstorm chased him down, calling,"I KNEW I shouldn't have gotten you that new laptop, Firestar!"

...

Lionblaze, Mousewhisker, and Jayfeather were in a corner of the medicne cat den, snickering. Greystripe passed them suspiciously, eyes darting back and forth. "Hey guys...what's up?" he halfheartedly called. Lionblaze fell into a laughing fit, and Mousewhisker mewed,"You know that video that Firestar got all those likes on?" "Yeah...?" "Well, it's you-" he said this between wholehearted laughs-"You...-" tears flowed freely from his eyes now-"You..."

"WHAT?"

"YOU SINGING I'M SEXY AND I KNOW IT...TO MILLIE!"

Greystripe's eyes widened. "'How'd she get-" A look of understanding crossed his face. "Starcams! I should've known! When I get to Starclan, Silverstream, I'm going to KILL you!" He ran off.

...

That night, Ivypool was checking her gmail account. She had 5 emails remaining. One was from Starclan, alerting her that her account/membership was almost up for .com. "Yeah, yeah." She muttered as she clicked the trash button.

Another was from th (the heavily guarded dark forest account.) Tigerheart! It read:

hey babee wanna meet a brdr 2nite?

Only 5 minutes ago! She emailed back:

Sure. C U ther, hotty

Another was a video from .com. She Starcams captured all the embarrassing .

moments of the warriors, and posted them. She got ALL the gossip from the other clans.

This one was a video of Onestar...singing Fireworks by Katie Perry! At the dirtplace! Ivypool almsot choked up a hairball she was laughing so hard! Next was her sister Dovewing (df ). It read:

heeeeeyyy anythin new at the df? not that i wanna know or anythin, but hey! did u hear about greystripe and im sexy and i know-"

Ivypool sighed and deleted her email. Nothing new there!

The final one was from Jayfeather.(jf ) It was pictures. All of them were labeled 'Me and Babee's 1st anniversity'. "What the crap?" Ivypool thought to herself. He probably sent it to the wrong person. AGAIN. But she viewed it anyway. The pictures were of him and...his stick? One was of just his stick, another one was of him lovingly hugging his stick, another of him making out with his stick-

Ivy pool could view no more. She clicked the trash button. When would he ever learn?

...

Ashfur stared at the ground, miserable and deathly lonely. He was a failure at life! No life, no Squirrelflight, no life, no Squirrelflight, no Squirrelflight...

Suddenly, he looked straight up. To a marshmallow gun cocked and loaded at his face. Brambleclaw growled, "The chick's mine, Ashfur. Squirrelflight will never be yours!" A toasted marshmallow practically threw itself out of his gun and into Ashfur's face. "AHHHH! I CAN'T SEE!" Leafpool shot out of the medicine cat den. "Who's injured?" Jayfeather followed, bumping into the cave walls and muttering "Ow" to himself each time. "Marshmallows! Not again, Brambleclaw! Remember Brightheart?" "Didn't dogs attack her?" the innocent passing Daisy asked. "That's what you think..." Brambleclaw evily grinned. "Just get inside, Ashfur!"

...

Jayfeather decided to take his stick out on a walk for his 1st anniversity. He took the stick tenderly beneath his jaws and felt the familiar path beneath his paws as he set out for the lake. Soon, he could hear the waves crashing gently against the well-worn, perfect sand. He perched comfortably in the grass, stick beside him.

"Oh, isn't this sooo relaxing, baby?" he whispered to his stick. "So great...oh stick, I love you! This is the best evening of my life!"

"Uh. Jayfeather...what are you doing?"

_Oh, crap! It's Mousewhisker!_

He could feel waves of confusion rolling off him. "Soo...what ARE you doing?"

"Nothing!"

He hastily buried his beloved stick in the sand. "Uh...ok. See you." He only trotted a few steps before calling over his shoulder ,"Oh, and by the way, it's morning."


	2. Chapter 2

CHAPTER TWO

Firestar was checking his emails when he heard the thundering _boom_ from outside his den in camp. _What the heck? _ He trotted outside to find Graystripe and Dovewing in the midst of what seemed a nuclear war. "MY CHOCOLATE!" screamed Dovewing. "Never!" yowled Graystripe. Dovewing chucked a grenade at his paws. He only had a moment to widen his eyes in shock before he was blown away into Shadowclan territory, crying, "I'LL GET YOU FOR THIS, DOVEWING!" Dovewing cackled like an evil witch, grabbed her dreamy prize, and shot away from the scene.

Firestar ducked back into his den. Nothing new there! He resumed his email session.

_Mousebrains!_

_..._

Jayfeather was casually checking his supplies when all of the sudden Lionblaze jumped in front of him and started to yell "NUM NUM NUM NUM NUM NUM NUM!"

Jayfeather pulled his ears back and hissed, "Lionblaze! WHAT THE CRAP ARE YOU DOING?"

Hollyleaf joined Lionblaze."NUM NUM NUM NUM NUM NUM NUM NUM."

_Hollyleaf? Where the crap did she come from?_

Jayfeather closed his eyes as they continued. After about a minute he screamed "SHUT UP! YOU GUYS ARE ON KRAK, AREN'T YOU?"

Lionblaze giggled. "Yep."

The two ran away, snickering loudly.

Jayfeather snifffed his herb pile. Just as he had thought.

All the catmint was gone.

(If you don't get this chapter, check out 'Warriors Comedy' on youtube)

...

Ashfur woke up in the medicine cat den to Leafpool gently shaking him, while yowling, "DUDE WAKE UP TONIGHT'S THE GATHERING! DUDE!"

He hissed at her, ears pinned back. "GEROFF ME."

Brambleclaw stepped into the den, marshmallow gun cocked and loaded. "Good. I'm hoping to get some good shots tonight."

Leafpool grinned evilly."GET BLACKSTAR FOR ME." She yowled as her left. "Sure thing!"Leafpool nudged Ashfur to his paws. "Come on. We leave now."

...

"Let the gathering...begin!"

Firestar stood up proudly. "Now. Thunderclan-"

"OMG NO PEETA NOOOOOOOO." screamed Squirrelflight while reading The Hunger Games.

Firestar's eyes grew wide. "No! WHAT HAPPENED TO PEETA?" he sobbed.

"PEETA...YOU CAN'T GET CAPTURED BY THE CAPITOL! YOU CAN'T!" yowled Squirrelflight, tears painting her cheeks.

Fireftar fell off the branch. "YOU CAN'T, PEETA, YOU CAN'T!" Sandstorm had to carry him back to camp while he sucked his thumb.

Blackstar yowled after him, "WE'RE ALL TEAM GALE ANYWAY!"

"TEAM GALE FOREVER!" cried Shadowclan, while all of them ripped away their fur to reveal Team Gale T- shirts beneath. Thunderclan screeched, "TEAM PEETA!" they threw pictures of Peeta in the air.

Riverclan just rolled their eyes , unsheathed their claws, and yelled, "TEAM FINNICK!"

Suddenly, the clouds rolled over the moon. But the clouds looked just like...Gale?

"YES! STARCLAN IS TEAM GALE TOO!" Blackstar said.

Just then a giant cooked marshmallow smacked him in the face.

"SCORE!" screamed Leafpool.

**Sorry this chapter wasn't really funny. I didn't have any good ideas.**


	3. Chapter 3

**Hey guys thanks for all the reviews! I know it's really not all that much, but I just started Fanfiction, so it's a lot to me! XD JUST ASK AND YOU CAN GET A COOKIE OR PLUSHIE OF YOUR CHOICE! **

CHAPTER THREE

"Thoust day is light, and dark is night, whilst Shadowclan Warriors block my sight..." quoted Bumblestripe studiously, sporting glasses and a thick poetry book in the middle of camp. Ivypool trudged in front of him, holding her paws to her ears. "Not again, Bumblestripe!" she moaned. "Remember the last time you were obsessed with poetry and started quoting of nonviolence in the middle of the battle?"

He winced. "Yes, I art remebereth my wounds. But poetry livith on!"

He started reading from the book, thundering his belief. "But we must FIGHT! BUT WE MUST FIGHT!"

By now blood was pouring out of Ivypool's ears and onto the musty, grassy ground. "STOP IT!" she howled. "BUT WE MUST FIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIGHT!" he sang the word fight in an opera voice so long that he choked and feel to the ground, lips blue. Ivypool rolled her eyes and sprinted into the forest.

...

Firestar was rocking in the corner of his den, still sucking his thumb and whispering, "No, Peeta, no..."

Sandstorm rolled her eyes. "Dude, the gathering was a quarter moon ago! SO CRY ME A RIVER, BUILD A BRIDGE, AND GET OVER IT!" she screamed violently.

Firestar paused sucking his thumb to glare at her accusingly and mew softly, "So you're team Gale, are you..."

Sandstorm lost her marbles and ran out of the den, yowling, "WHY STARCLAN, WHY?"

Firestar resumed sucking his thumb.

...

"Ready, Leafpool?"

"SO ready, Brambleclaw."

Leafpool had now bought her own marshmallow gun on ebay, so they were a death team, known as the 'MarshDeath.' Their mission was to attack any moving creature in the forest with marshmallows.

They crept through the forest, wearing camo and army hats. Right now they were on Mission:Spiderleg.

They arrived on target. Spiderleg was stalking a squirrel, pads so soft and tender that even the quick-scampering squirrel didn't notice...

"Now. Make. No. Sound..." whispered Brambleclaw.

Leafpool nodded.

"Fire in three...two...on-"

Leafpool's cell phone rang, and the song, "I'm elmo and I know it," rang through the forest. Four things happened at once. Brambleclaw hissed at her, the squirrel ran away, Spiderleg looked up at them in surprise and yowled, "MOUSEBRAIN!", and Leafpool cried, "FIRE!"

Two cooked marshmallows were chucked out of the gun and into Spiderleg's face. He wiped his paw at his face and cried, "CRAP! STICKYGLUE!" when they wouldn't come off.

Brambleclaw and Leafpool giggled together and paw-foured, racing off into the forest. On the way, Brambleclaw asked Leafpool, "I'm Elmo and I Know It? Seriously?"

Leafpool 's face flushed and she replied, "Don't you even tell me you don't watch it. Do you really think no cat will hear big bird talking in the middle of the night?

"Touché," Brambleclaw muttered in defeat.

**EHHHHH, EHHHH? Please R&R! And don't forget about those plushies! And maybe even ideas...but that's for you to decide...**


	4. Chapter 4

**HEY GUYZ! SP7 here. Thank you for all the comments, especially DragonFlames-and-WaterWhisperer for your suggestion. You will see that I kind of used it. Sooo, enjoy the chap.**

**PEACE OUT PEOPLEZ**

CHAPTER THREE

Jayfeather was absolutely and entirely pooped! He had spent ALL day regathering herbs, particularly catmint. He had just come out of his den to fetch a mouse when he heard Firestar, Sandstorm, and Brambleclaw singing in warbled voices.

"TOOOONIIIIIIIIIIIGHT...WE ARE YOUUUUNG!" cried Firestar.

"SO WE DRANK THE FISH'S WATER!" shouted Sandstorm.

"AND KILLED TIGERSTARRRR!" screamed Brambleclaw.

Sandstorm slapped a paw over his mouth. "Tha...that doesn't rhyme...does it?" she slurred. It was then that Jayfeather heard the THUD. Sandstorm had fallen

over, and was fast asleep, snoring loudly.

"COME ON! JOIN US! TONIIIIIIIIIIIGHT!" screeched Firestar. By now the whole camp was singing! Suddenly, Jayfeather had a horrible accusing feeling. He raced to his den and sniffed the herb pile where he had put the herbs he had gathered that day. Meanwhile, it sounded like a kick line had started. Just as he had suspected.

"FIRE!"

A sticky thing attached to Jayfeather's butt that felt and smelled suspiciously like a Toasted Marshmallow. In his haste to get it off, he wiggled his behind, but no avail.

"OH YEAH. SHAKE YO BOOTY, JAYFEATHER!" yowled Leafpool. She ran into the forest, giggling madly.

Firestar was now outside, calling, "Free catmint! Gathered today! Come and get yours now!"

"FIRESTAR!" screamed Jayfeather in his rage. He ran into camp, butt now smoking.

_Five Hours Later..._

_"YOU PUT YOUR LEFT PAW IN, YOU PUT YOUR LEFT PAW OUT, YOU PUT YOUR LEFT PAW IN, AND YOU SHAKE IT ALL ABOUT..." _ Thunderclan had been going strong on this for about an hour. Before that, it was the Macarena, and even before that it was just random opera singing.

"HEY GUYS! I GOT MARDI GRAS BEADS!" Jayfeather yowled, speeding into camp with bead necklaces draped all over him. It was quite surprising that he could even stand, really. Someone had convinced him into taking some catmint earlier (no doubt by shoving it in his mouth.)

All the cats gave an, "ALL RIGHT!" in glee, and a chorus of, 'I'm Sexy and I Know It.' broke out. Brambleclaw was the heart of the party, and somehow gotten Monsters (and was handing them out.)The kits were bouncing and ricocheting off the trees (one of them had stolen a few bottles, and now they were ALL hyped up) and Firestar was now paying Sandstorm 100$ every time she poured a monster over him. He was soaked and giving his fur a good licking, and pretty soon there were rings around his pupils.

All of the sudden, a blonde-haired twoleg toddler stepped into camp. Squirrelflight's mouth dropped wide open, and she screamed, "OMG ITS PEEEEEETA!"

All of the cats swarmed the Twoleg child and started to lick it. He gave a gurgling giggle, and Firestar yowled, "Anything you say, Oh Great One..."

Every cat grabbed their wallets and chain purses, and a shower of money fell all over the Twoleg. "HE LIKE IT!" Brambleclaw yelled, and all the cats started sitting criss-cross-apple-sauce and touching each other's shoulders, they started to chant, "OOOOOHMMMMM"

A crown of leaves was placed on 'Peeta's ' head.

...

Greystripe woke up in Shadowclan territory, warriors around him on either side. Through a gap he could see a kit looking up wonderingly at him. "Wha...?"

"You learned how to rain!" the kit squeaked.

Oh. Right. Dovewing and the grenade. He must've fallen from the sky.

"FIRE!"

The Shadowclan warriors pulled out paintball guns, and Greystripe ducked as he was hit with a cascade of paintballs.

"Where'd you guys get those?"

"You guys. Don't you remember leaving them in your trash dump?"

"Oh, yeah..."

...

It was 12:00, but Thunderclan was still going! But Brambleclaw took a break to watch some Elmo's world. Just as he had turned on the T.V, Leafpool appeared in full suit...pink camo shirt, green pants, army helmet, bullet-proof glasses, and her trusty marshmallow gun at her side. "Operation:Shadowclan begins now!" she growled, and she treaded into the forest.

"Wait for me!" Brambleclaw called, and he shot off to his dressing room to change.

**SOOO DID YOU LIKE IT? Hope so! Please R&R, and don't forget about those plushies!**


	5. Chapter 5

**Thanks for all the comments guys! Whoever does the 20th one gets a mystery prize! ;) And thanks Nimblepaw for the suggestion.*throws Firestar plushie***

CHAPTER FIVE

Brambleclaw and Leafpool were in the usual uniform and had just crossed the border when the alarm went off. The trees started flashing red, and overhead went, "WEEEEEEWOOOOOO!"

"Since when did Shadowclan have home security?" Leafpool asked incredulously.

"Since Sol came back. Remember when Riverclan had it?"

Leafpool winced. "At least Shadowclan's doesn't cuss at you like Riverclan's did."

"Yeah, that was pretty bad...especially when it said Peeta died and we had to carry Firestar out of Riverclan territory because he passed out and had a heart attack..."

"Well, no alarm's going to stop us! To the dirty hole that Shadowclan calls home!"

They shot off into the distance, alarms screaming at them all the way, but they discovered that the closer they got to Shadowclan camp, the less they heard the alarms.

They crouched at the edge of the mangy camp.

"On three. Ono, dos..."

"FIVE!" screamed Leafpool, and they burst into camp, only to see Blackstar in a snazzy tux and...was that...it couldn't be...but it was! In a wedding dress complete with a veil was...a Dora Mermaid doll? In between them was Littlecloud with glasses on, holding a bible serenely in his left paw.

"Then in the name of Starclan, I pronounce you..."

All in the clan looked up alarmed, and Littlecloud screamed, "YOU HAVE RUINED THE MARRIAGE!"

"Shadowclan, attack! For Dora!" yowled Blackstar. No one in the clan moved. "ATTACK!" Still no cat moved. "COME ON PEEPS MOVE IT MOVE IT!"

"No one wanted you to marry Dora anyway!" a cat cried. They all barreled into Blackstar, who toppled over. Brambleclaw and Leafpool shot marshmallows into the crowd.

..."I WANNA CELEBRATE AND LIVE. MY. LIFE. SINGING AYYYYYOH, NEEDS MORE MAAAAAYO!"

Mardi Gras was still going on in Thunderclan. Peeta had been long gone now; he had ran away, but they had a funeral for him and cried for 3 hours, but now it was still up.

Firestar ran into the middle of the crowd, Monster and Red Bull in his paws, and suddenly burst, "BECAUSE ITS THRILLLER! THRILLER NOW!"

The kits started to do the thriller dance, followed by the elders and warriors. Firestar, now in his afro, was singing his heart out. "AND NOTHINGS GONNA STOP YOU FROM THE BEAT THATS BOUT TO STRIKE! BECAUSE ITS THRILLER!"

Disco lights were shining around camp, and cats were doing Thriller, the claw strike, and the Windclan favorite, milk the cow.

Rosekit raced into the middle of the camp, pulled out a polka dot afro from behind her back, threw it on, and squeaked, "Da da dadadadada, circus!"

Firestar pulled off his black afro and replaced it with the same one and cried, "Da da dadadadadada, afro!" The whole clan pullled out their favorite polka dot afros and sung, "CIRCUS AFRO CIRCUS AFRO POLKA DOT, POLKA DOT AFRO!"

..."Let the gathering begin!"

All the clans had gathered and were waiting patiently beneath the leaders...besides Thunderclan. Their Mardi Gras had finally stopped , but there were after affects. They were fidgeting, twitching, and occasionally slapping the cat next to them in the face. Even some remains of Thriller were left among the cats.

Shadowclan was first. "Sol has moved in with us!"

All the cats in the clearing went, "AWWWW," like they were at a golf competition and a Windclan warrior had just missed the hole (although that never happened, because Windclan totally RULED golf at the Warrior Olympics, which happened every 12 moons. They had ruled of Swimming a LONG time ago, because no one was winning besides Riverclan.)

Sol, among the crowd, shouted out, "And who's Peeta? That's just a stupid misspelling of Peter from Narnia!"

Firestar whipped his head up and choked out, "You...you don't...don't know who...who Peeta...Peeta is...?" His lips turned blue, and he promptly passed out on the grass. "Oh, not again!" sighed Sandstorm as she slung Firestar over her shoulder and headed towards camp. No cat even noticed, because every cat was so used to it by now.

"Yeah! Narnia Rules!" yowled Squirrelflight. She ripped the Hunger Games book apart from the center and threw it up in the air, where it disappeared. Clouds raced themselves to cover the full moon.

"OH NOOOO. YOU SHOULDN'T HAVE DOOOONE THAT! STARCLAN IS TEAM GALE, REMEMBER?" Blackstar screamed.

Squirrelflight tilted her head to the moon and yolwed, "WELL TO BAD! THUNDERCLAN IS TEAM ASLAN NOW!"

Blackstar and his cronies (aka his clan) cried, "TEAM WHITE WITCH!"

"TEAM BEVARS!" Windclan cried.

"TEAM FRODO!" Riverclan cried.

"But...that's Lord of the Rings..." mewed Bumblestripe, trailing off.

"Oh..." Mistystar blushed. "THEN TEAM TUMNUS!"

**Hope you like it!**


	6. Chapter 6

CHAPTER SIX

Firestar was in the warriors den, chatting with Sandstorm, when a deafening BOOM followed by a piercing KRAK blew through the air.

"WHAT THE..."

He raced outside as ashes fell on his crimson furry ears. Spiderleg stood in the center of the crowd.

"Back away, everyone, back away!"

Firestar flattened his ears as the BOOM came again. A firework strung up into the air and exploded into the shape of a lightning bolt. The crowd cheered and whistled.

"WHAT THE HECK, SPIDERLEG!" Jayfeather screamed as he shot out of the medicine cat den, scattering the cats who knew his rage. His sightless eyes were aflame.

" ."

"But Jaaaaayfeattther, it's the 4th of Jullllllyyyyyyy!" whined Spiderleg.

"Yeaaaaaaah," the crowd cooed.

Jayfeather grit his teeth and spit, "If you do that stupid Charlie the Unicorn act one more time, I will-"

"BUT THEY WERE FOR SALE AT SHAAAAAADOWCLLLLAAAAN"

Jayfeather burst. "You know what? I'm done. DONE! I need a break." He crammed a piece of Catmint into his mouth as his eyes crossed.

"YES! The plan worked, Spiderleg! To the catmint!" Squirrelflight mewed.

The clan raided Jayfeather's catmint supply.

2 HOURS LATER...

"3!2!1!"

BOOM!

The firework exploded, showing a picture of a star.

"GUYS! HEY, GUYS! GUYS GUYS GUYS GUYS! HEY GUYS! GUYS! HEY HEY HEY HEY GUYS! HEY, GUYS! GUUUUUUUUYS! HEEEEEEEEYYYYY GUUUUUUUYS! HEY, HEY GUYS!GUYS! DRUTH OR DARE!" yowled Firestar, flashing buck teeth.

"YEAH!" Leafpool said, lipstick in hand. Her face looked as if a kit had tried to color it with the stuff. Her face painting was very popular among the clans.

"FIRESTAR, I DARE YOU TO GET RUN OVER BY A MONSTER..." he slurred before passing out. He had also raided Jayfeather's poppy seeds.

Firestar ran off into the distance, followed by a SCREECH and a THUD.

Silence.

"ANOTHER ONE BITES THE DUST!" squeaked Rosekit.

"AND ANOTHER ONE GONE, AND ANOTHER ONE GONE, ANOTHER ONE BITES THE DUST..."

2 hours later...

"Party rock is in the house, tonight!"

Thunderclan was now a karaoke hotspot, complete with fresh-kill/catmint refreshment tables and a disco. Highstones was the stage.

Firestar (he had come back with his boss 9 lives thing) was now singing, only to be pushed over by Sandstorm, who started singing in a high opera voice.

"HAAAAAAAALELUHA! HAAAAAAAAAALELUHA! HALELUHA! HALELUHA! HAAAAAALELUHA"

She looked up to the sky and hissed. "FOX DUNG! STARCLAN, WHERE ARE YOOOOU!"

A HALF MOON LATER...

"LET THE WARRIOR GAMES...BEGIN!"

Firestar waved a red flag, and the clans cheered. The Warrior Games were simple. Cat Olympics. The categories were:

Golf

Badger Hunting

Sumo Wrestling

Tree Climbing

Cooking (don't even ask)

Starclan Connection (a favorite among the medicne cats)

and Shooting (No doubt Brambleclaw and Leafpool were going to win)

The contestants were shooting each other looks. First was Golf. The Windclan warriors were VERY protective of this sport, and were known to tackle other players.

The cats were on the moor at the moment as the leaders handed out the Golf clubs. The second it touched Crowfeather's fur he started making out with it. Onestar had to slap him silly before he stopped, rubbing his head.

The Golfing began. Hole one was very aggresive for the contestints. Many swore when the other made a hole (Fox dung! Mousebrain!) and Crowfeather actually bowled over another Windclan warrior when she said that his club was as ugly as his butt, screaming, "DON'T YOU INSULT MY SWEETIE AND BY BUTT IS SEXY!" as he went.

This led to a whole other argument about whose butt was sexier before Onestar broke it up at the point when each one started to sing I'm Sexy and I Know It louder than the other one and it reached running around in circles and screaming level, which the kits did.

At the fourth hole, Crowfeather swung his club and made a hole in one. "BIRDIE! TURKEY! FORE!" he screamed.

Rosekit rolled her eyes and yelled at him, "No, stupid, it's a GOAL! DON'T YOU KNOW _ANYTHING?"_

**Sorry the Warrior Games wasn't that funny, it was sort of the setting up of the Warriors Games, which is the whole other chapter. Hope you enjoy! And thanks to all who reviewed! R&R!**


	7. Chapter 7

**CONNNNNGRAAAADULAAATIONS, POCKETNOVA! YOU'RE THE 20TH REVIEW WIIIIIIINNNNNEEEEEER! YOUR PRIZE IS: A FREE PLUSHIE OF LEAFPOOL (WITH GUN) AND BRAMBLECLAW! (WITH GUN ALSO) AND WAIT! THAT'S NOT ALL! YOU ALSO GET TOOOOO...(DRUMROLL PLEASE)...WRITE CHAPTER 8 WITH ME! PM ME THE 1ST HALF, AND I'LL PM YOU THE SECOND! IT HAS TO BE ABOUT THE WARRIOR GAMES, THOUGH. PM ME YOUR ANSWER!**

CHAPTER SEVEN

"And this year's commenter for the sumo wrestling championships of the Warrior Games is...Leafpool!" Firestar yowled through the microphone. The clans cheered as Leafpool stepped up to the podium, fighting back tears in her glossy, beautiful eyes. She tapped the mic and sniffed rather loudly.

"I am so honored to be this year's commentater! The first thing I want to say is...HONEY NUT CHEERIOS!" She pumped a paw up and down.

"The second thing I would want to say is...CROWFEATHER, YOUR BUTT IS SEXIER THAN ANYONE ELSE'S! And the third thing I want to say is...Jayfeather, you better CREAM. BREEZEPELT'S. BUTT!"

The crowd went wild as the first round began, Jayfeather V.S Breezepelt.

"AND, OH, THERE THEY GO! NICE TAIL SWIPE, BREEZEPELT, OH! JAYFEATHER! AWESOME BLIND SWIPE, BUDDY, AND BY BLIND I MEAN LITERLY, HAHAHAH...OOOO! HEADLOCK IN THE HOUUUUSE! OH YEAH, BABY! THE BUTTWIPE, I KNOW THAT ONE FROM CROWFEATHER, HE PRACTICES THAT ONE ON BREEZEPELT ALL THE TIME, YOU SO USED TO IT BREEZEPELT, YOU KNOW YOU ARE! OH YEAH, JAYFEATHER! BLIND HIM, BLIND HIM! OH, WHAT A SEXY BUTT BREEZEPELT HAS JUST LIKE HIS FATHER, BUT YOURS IS EVIL TOO...OH YEAH, JAYFEATHER! BRING HIM DOWWWN TO THE GROOOUND, YOU THE BOMB, YOU THE BOMB! SCOOOOORE! JAYFEATHER WINS BY THE LEGENDARY MOVE, THE THREE BLIND MICE! I DIDN'T EVEN SEE YOU CROCHET THOSE PEICES OF GRASS TOGETHER TO MAKE A BLINDFOLD, BUT BEING A MEDICNE CAT, I GUESS YOU HAVE A LOT OF SPARE TIME TO PRACICE, HUH? OH! YOU GOT LESSONS FROM FIRESTAR, YOU SAY?"

Firestar turned a delicate shade of red and hissed, "Leafpool?"

Leafpool gazed up at him with glazed, innocent eyes. "Yes, my dearest Firestar?"

"SHUT UP."

Only then did Leafpool understand the expertly stitched pink bib that stated, "PEETA + FS" thrown in a ditch she accidently fell into.

ROUND TWO

"OH! YEAH, YOU GO! WHIP SOME BOOOTAY, SANDSTORM! YOU KNOW ALLL ABOUT FIRESTAR'S SECRET DIARY, I PRESUME? I FOUND IT WITH THE BIB-"

"SHUT IT!"

"UM, NEVER MIND. IT ONLY SAID THAT HIS LOVE WAS NOT TOWARDS YOU, AND THAT IT WAS TOWARDS THAT WIERD DEAD MEDICNE CAT THE WHOLE TIME, HE ONLY BECAME YOUR MATE BECAUSE SHE APPROVED OF IT-"

Sandstorm whipped around from her opponent, Tawnypelt, a distinct fire in her eyes.

"Firestar. Is this true?" she asked in a deadly calm voice.

Firestar nervously eyed the ground and wiggled his shoulders.

"WEEEELLLL..."

Sandstorm leapt out of the wrestling square thing (whatever it's called) and bowled him over, screaming, "SHE WAS AN UGLY IDIOT ANYWAY! I'M NEVER ORDERING YOU THOSE PEETA DOLLS FROM EBAY AGAIN!"

"BUT...PEEEETA!" Firestar started to cry like he was two and suck his thumb again.

"HEE HEE. SANDSTORM, YOU SHOULD BE ON DESPERATE HOUSEWIVES." Leafpool giggled into the microphone.

ROUND THREE

"THIS ROUND IS SPONSERED BY FRUIT LOOPS, A NECESSARY PART OF A HEALTHY BREAKFAST. I LIKE THOSE COOL TOUCAN DUDES, TOO, UNWRAPPING MUMMIES AND ESCAPING FROM OCTUPUSSES AND ALL..."

"LEAFPOOL!" Firestar shouted from the sidelines, in a full body cast from his and Sandstorm's fight, "WE DON'T CARE!"

"BUT FRUIT LOOPS ARE YUUUUMY!" Leafpool screamed.

"Ok. WHATever."

"YOU DON'T BELEIVE ME, DO YOU? OK THEN, FIRESTAR. I QUIT!"

She rushed down from the podium, yowling like a little kit.

"Does this mean this round is off?" Rosekit squeaked, in the ring in front of Crowfeather, "Because I could've whipped his kahooney."

ON TO STARCLAN CONNECTION

"3! 2! 1! GO!"

Leafpool was back, after spouting many other embarrassing things about Firestar, including him making out with his Peeta poster in his den, and even that he sends letters to Spottedleaf every day by exposing them to the StarCams, the cameras that go directly to Starclan. But, then again, she was voted to comment on Starclan Connection, and there was nothing he could do about that.

Starclan connection was pretty much about seeing which medicine cat could call upon the power of Starclan to perform a miracle first. The contestants were Littlecloud, Jayfeather, and Mothwing (who had always been a dud)

"AAAND, HERE WE GO! OH, YES SENSING SOME SERIOUS VIBES FROM JAYFEATHER, OH, BUT SOME EVEN MORE SERIOUS FROM LITTLECLOUD! COME ON,MOTHWING, DIDN'T YOU HEAR ABOUT THEIR COUPONS ONLINE? TWO MIRACLES FOR THE PRICE OF ONE! JUST KIDDING! DON'T BE SO MAD, JEEZ, IT WAS JUST A JOKE, I KNOW YOU DON'T EVEN BELIEVE IN STARCLAN ANYWAY..."

At this, Mothwing turned a furious purple and dove towards Leafpool's feet, screaming, "IDIOT! YOU TOLD, YOU TOLD! WE'RE NOT FURRY BUDDIEZ ANYMORE! IN FACT, I'M DELETING MY ACCOUNT!"

(Furry buddiez was a website for cats that was kind of like Webkinz, but you took care of Twolegs instead of animals.)

"NOOO! NOT FURRY BUDDIEZ!"

"OH YES, FURRY BUDDIEZ!"

"Oh yeah, this is what I'm talking about! Even better then Golfing, right?" Rosekit squeaked, munching a bag of Jumbo Popcorn.

**Hope you liked it! Please R&R! DON'T FORGET, POCKETNOVA!**


	8. Chapter 8

**Hey guys!**

**SUPEEER sorry I haven't updated in a while, I've been SOOOOOOOOOO busy! Anyway, let's gets to business! *puts on glasses* *doesn't really wear glasses***

**Ok! Here it is! I'm going to delete the Tiger Games, because no one seems to care about it, and I[m replacing it with a really good story (I'll update that one today) that you guys will like!**

**OK! CONTEST TIIIIIME! YOU HAVE TO...THROW CHOCOLATE SAUCE ON YOUR HEAD! (just kidding)**

**Real contest! You need to write a funny chapter with the characters from the story in it...but it has to be the warrior games. PM me the chapter, and whoever wins, I will make that the next chappie! The dead line is 8/12.**

**Pocketnova helped me write this chapter, because he was the 20th reviewer! *claps* so be sure to check him/her out!**

**NOW FOR THE CHAPPIE! XD**

"And the commenter for this day's Warrior Games Events, Shooting, Badger Hunting, and Cooking is Leafpool AGAIN, yay and all that, she'll just embarrass be again so whatever..." Firestar sighed tiredly and stepped off the podium, to be replaced by a roaring cheer as Leafpool took his spot.

"TODAY'S WORDS ARE...CINNAMON TOAST CRUNCHHHHH!" Leafpool yowled, the crowd with her. Pawfulls of the cereal were thrown into the air, confetti style.

"Also...have you heard about Firestar and his secret blankie-"

"SHUT UP!"

"Oh...sorry...never mind...like I was saying...it has purple stripes on it and says-"

"HOW MANY TIMES DO I HAVE TO TELL YOU-"

"Peeta+Firestar=3"

"OMG!" Firestar screamed at her.

"Hey and guess what Firestar?"

"WHAAAT?" Firestar irritably asked, hot-red steam pouring out of his ears.

"TEAM GALE!"

Firestar whipped around and sped away, yelling, "BUT PEETA AND I ARE SOULMATES!"

(**Pocketnova did the shooting part)**

"NEXT UP IN THE WARRIOR GAMES IS... SHOOTING!" Yowled an overly excited Leafpool. "FIRST UP IS ME VS FIRESTAR!" And with that, she jump off the podium and poled out her marshmallow gun. Firestar couldn't say more than "WAIT! N-" before being pelted with cooked marshmallows. "Giant, pink bunnies everywhere.."  
Firestar mewed before falling unconscious.  
"Welllllll... That was not random at all," said Sandstorm sarcastically.  
"I believe that the next round will be... BRAMBLECLAW VS LITTLECLOUD! THREE! TWO! ONE! GOOOOOOOO!"  
"But I don't have a marshmallow gu-" he didn't have time to finish his sentence because he had a face full of marshmallow. "OW! THAT HAD TO HURT!" Leafpool yowled loudly. "It did..." Littlecloud whimperd  
"GOOD! IT WAS SUPPOSED TO!" She screeched.  
"Ok, Ok, this stops right now!" Jayfeather screamed.

He got pelted in the face with marshmallows.

"To badger hunting!"

...

They had traveled to Shadowclan territory for this round where Brambleclaw and Tawnypelt were, tracking badgers. Brambleclaw was full on with gear, including a Badger Tracker 2,000 complete with headset, also with his camo marshmallow gun outfit and gun. Tawnypelt just held a can of Jumbo Monster, which seemed to work just as well, because the first badger spotted reared up right behind her and growled, "MIDNIGHT LOVE MONSTER!"

Brambleclaw shot a flaming marshmallow at its face, crying hysterically like a lit. It tumbled to the ground, wailed, and drew its last breath in a low hearted sigh.

"POINT ONE FOR BRAMBLECLAW!" Leafpool mewed happily into the mic, while the crowd below positively screamed with joy.

All of the sudden, Tawnypelt's face broke into worry. "Wait...what did the badger say?"

"I'm pretty sure it said, 'Twilight rules.'" Leafpool said.

Rosekit took a swipe at Leafpool's head. "No, it OBVIOUSLY said, 'Edward Cullen's Sexy!'" (**BTW I HATE TWILIGHT)**

Brambleclaw shook his head. "No, it said...'Midnight love monster!'"

"YOU KILLED MIDNIGHT!" Tawnypelt howled, dropping to the ground.

"Uh...oops?"

ROUND TWO

"Ok, we pay our respects to Midnight, blah blah blah, I never liked her anyway, so here's round two ooo this should be interesting Dovewing and Jayfeather a cat who is blind and a cat who has supersonic hearing hey did you hear that Peeta got captured by the capitol and that Bella has got those moves like Jagger and that Firestar has a tattoo of Peeta on his hind leg and that...that.." Leafpool collapsed on the ground in a dead faint.

Squirrelflight raced her own paws to the podium, where Leafpool lay in a heap. After sniffing, checking for signs of catmint, and finally raised her head and mewed angrily at the crowd, "OK, who fed her the cheesecake and oreos?"

A snigger escaped from Firestar's mouth.

ROUND THREE

"Ok, r...round three," Leafpool meowed, feeling slightly dazed. It took 20 minutes to wake her up, but the smell of pancakes finally did it.

"Yes, Jayfeather and Dovewing again..."

Jayfeather was alert, nose and ears pricked, pacing around in circles and whispering, 'OMMMMM, BUDDAH ROCK, OHHHM."

Dovewing simply stood there with her eyes closed, scouring the clans for badgers , occasionly muttering to herself, "Ah, yes the stream...ooh, Blackstar and another Shadowclan she-cat, his mate's gonna be maaad...a diary! On a rock! 'Sexy Sasha I call her...' ohh, Tigerstar's old one!"

The crowd was growing restless when finally Firestar whipped his head to the sky and yowled, "Some badgers, please?!"

Posters of Gale fell from the sky as punishment.

COOKING

"ANNND, THE TIMER IS SET! YOU HAVE THREE MINUTES!"

The contestants were Crowfeather and Rosekit, the Judges being Firestar and Sandstorm. Rosekit dutifully stood in front of her Easy Bake Oven, seeming very relaxed and laid back. Crowfeather, on the other hand, was in a complete tizzy, feverishly stirring bowls and measuring ingredients.

The three minutes passed, leaving Crowfeather panting and sweating profusely, and Rosekit placid and calm.

"Mouse steak and Cream Sauce!" Crowfeather declared, proudly presenting his masterpiece. The crowd ooed and aaed as the judges tasted it, showing no emotion.

"Surprise dish," Rosekit simply stated, placing forth what looked like a large stuffed noodle.

Firestar took a chomp out of it, and right then and there his tail curled up in delight. His eyes flashed many disco colors, and he started to bounce off the walls, screaming random nonsense about Edward Cullen, Peeta and cookies.

"Wha-" Sandstorm ripped open the noodle, revealing catmint leaves, coke, monster, and red bull (not to mention coffee) covered in poppy seeds. Firestar fell into a snoring heap as the whole crowd dug in, Rosekit preparing more.

**Didja like it? Hope so! PLEEEEASE REVIEW, THE BUTTON IS GETTING VERY LONELY! DON'T FORGET ABOUT THE CONTEST! THANKS, POCKETNOVA!**


	9. Chapter 9 Contest Winners!

**Hey guys Spotty here! I just have to say... OMG 40 SOMETHING REVIEWS ALMOST 50! OMGG! U GUYS ARE THE BEEEST! I GIVE YOU ALL A BIGG HUG! ANYWAY...yeah! these two are the two people who won the contest! Maplepaw46 won the first place, and Sunleaf13 won second place! YAAAAAY! CONGRATS YOU TWO! I loved all the entries, though, thanks sooo much guys! Anyway... I just want to say...Maplepaw46 is Team Gale! I know her! And...please check out me and Sunleaf13's book, Broken Dreams! And me and Maplepaw46 are going to write a book together, so check it out! It'll be out soon! And I also want to say that school is starting really soon for me (4 days, in fact) So I'll still be updating, just not as often. Anyway! Enough gabering! Let's get going! The first on is Maplepaw46's, and the second is Sunleaf13's. Enjoy, and don't forget to check out those books!**

"Hello everybody to the Warriors Games where you must fight to the death!" yowled Tigerstar as he petted his Gale plushie.  
"SERIOSLY TIGERSTAR, GALE'S THE ONE THING U DON'T KILL!" yowled Firestar as he tried to jump up to Tigerstar's private blimp that had Gale's picture saying "DEATH TO PEETA AND FIRESTAR!"  
"What Nightcloud's here? Someone give me my dart gun, I want to shoot her!" meowed Leafpool as she tried to reach the Cornucopia which had a Marshoshooter 5000.  
"10-" yowled Tigerstar.  
"Where's my plushie of Peeta?" meowed Rosekit as started shaking.  
"9- hay where's my dairy!?" yolwed Tigerstar as he started to search for his dairy which he left my the stream in thunderclan.  
"I don't know, but if I did why do u write ur dairy entries in sparkly pink ink?" asked Firestar as he hide a pink dairy that had "Tigerstar's Dairy" on the cover in purple.  
"DIE FIRESTAR!" yowled Tigerstar as he grabbed a flame thrower and shoot fire balls at Firestar.  
"Don't u know that I can't die because Erin Hunter doesn't know how to count." yowled Firestar as he turned into a giant catmint leaf.  
"WHAT THE-" yowled Firestar as every cat started drooling and walking towards him like zombies.  
"I SO CAN TO COUNT!" screamed a two-leg she-cat by the name of Victoria Holmes, one of the Erin's.  
"FINE U CAN COUNT BUT PLEASE CHANGE ME BACK!" yowled Firestar as the zombielike cats started to nibble on Firestar.  
"2-1 GO!" yowled Tigerstar as Firestar changed back to normal and all the cats started to run to the Cornucopia. Leafpool grabbed the Marshoshooter and started fighting with Brambleclaw who gets to have it.  
"I DON'T WANT TO PLAY THIS GAME!" yowled Rosekit as she got hit in the head with a cooked marshmallow.  
"Sorry, DIE EVIL NIGHTCLOUD WHO STOLE MY MAN!" yowled Leafpool as she started shooting cooked marshmallows in Nightcloud's direction.  
"SAVE ME CROWFEATHER!" yowled Nightcloud as she was trying to avoid flaming marshmallows.  
"Um, yeah baby u know I think it's time us to see different cats, like mine's is going to be Leafpool, KEEP GOING BABY KILL HER SHE'S SSSOO ANNOYING, SHE'S ALWAYS TRYING TO MAKE ME DO SOMETHING CALLED 'CHORES'!" meowed Crowfeather as he started throwing knives at Nightcloud.  
"OMG IT'S PEETA, o wait it's a giant cat/pop-tart!" yolwed Rosekit as she pointed the sky to reveal Nyan cat.  
"NYA NYA NYA NYA..." sang the Nyan cat.  
"NYA NYA NYA!" sang Rosekit as her legs turned into a pop-tart and she floated up into the sky to join Nyan cat.  
"MY KIT! But knowing me I'll probably have 20 more before I die, I'll be like Ferncloud!" meowed Daisy.  
"That's not nice, NYA NYA NYA!" meowed Ferncloud as she turned into a pop tart and started joining Rosekit and Nyan cat.  
"DIE POPTART!" yowled Firestar as he turned into a cat-tart and floated into space singing with Rosekit,Ferncloud, and Nyan cat.  
"RUN FOR UR LIFE BEFORE NYAN CAT GETS U!" yowled Blackstar as him and the rest of the cats started running from the Nyan cats.  
"WHY DID U SEND THIS EVIL CREATURE STARCLAN!?" asked Leafpool as she started running. The all of StarClan showed up.  
"Because Thunderclan rejected our Gale posters and that our Internet's down so-yeah, GO NYAN CATS!" meowed/yowled Spottedleaf.  
"Ok, so for Rosekit,Ferncloud, and Firestar died/became cat-tarts. Leafpool and Crowfeather are back together and trying to kill Nightcloud-" meowed Tigerstar but was interupped by a sound of cannon. "Ok Leafpool and Crowfeather killed Nightcloud."  
"That's the end of day 1 and stick around StarClan for more, but some 2-leg show called 'Survivor' is interrupting us see u dead cats later!" continued Tigerstar as Survivor started.

(Sunleaf13's entry)

"AND THE WINNER IS ROSEKIT! Man, this stuff is good!" said Firestar, who just woke up again and ate more of the noodle.

Leafpool giggled as Firestar fell asleep again.

ROUND WHATEVER I STOPPED KEEPING TRACK!

"This round… racing! The contestants will be Brambleclaw and Squirrelflight!"

Squirrelflight blushed as she leaned in to tell Leafpool something. "Imonmypirgdgk…" she mumbled. "EH?" Leafpool said; she couldn't hear.

"Imonmypdrhsnk…"

"WHAT?!"

"I'M ON MY PERIOD!" Squirrelflight yowled. There was silence.

"Squirrels on her period! HEY, HEY DAD!" shouted small Rosekit who had taken a bite of her own creation. She passed out. Leafpool had a weird look on her face. "WELL, UH, ROUND TWO!"

"WE PASSED THAT ROUND ALREADY!" a yowl came from the crowd.

"WHATEVER, JUST DO A WAFFLE EATING CONTEST BETWEEN FIRESTAR AND BRAMBLEPAW!" at the sound of waffles, Firestar bolted up. And Leafpool went down.

... later...

Brambleclaw looked up. "No waaaaay! Gossip She-Cat is on! No! Blairfur, don't do it! Uugh! Dantail, just go away!"

Suddenly, Rosekit bolted up. "Gossip She-Cat?" she raced over to watch it with Brambleclaw.

Sandstorm rolled her eyes and woke Leafpool up.

NEXT ROUND!

"This round is the stunt round! Who can do more stunts!?" Yowled a dazed Leafpool.

"Contestents are, Sandstorm and Rosekit! Oh, this ought to be good!"

Sandstorm looked calmly around her and jumped over a log. Rosekit did a cartwheel in a tree, injuring her back paw minorly.

"OOOH! Look at that cartwheel! Mom! I'm dissapointed in you!" Leafpool said through the mic. Sandstorm said nothing as Rosekit beamed. Sandstorm again looked around and did the splits. Rosekit did a cartwheel. "OOOH! Look at that!"

Sandstorm jumped into the air, did three backflips and front flips and landed neatly. Rosekit jumped over a log. "THE WINNER IS… ROSEKIT!"

Sandstorm scowled and stormed away as Rosekit winked at the camera.

**Hoped you enjoyed! Don't forget to review, and check out these two talented authors! Congrats to everyone who entered!**


	10. Chapter 10

**HEY GUYS! SUPER SORRY ITS BEEN AWHILE! I just started school again... getting used to 8 classes is a lot more different than elementary school! I like it, though. Oh yeah, I forgot.**

**Ugh. School.**

**Ok, Let's move on! This chappie is not going to be the best, I'm gonna warn you. I had no ideas at ALL, so I relied on the comments! Thanks, Maplepaw46, for your suggestions! I used them!**

**Wow! Almost 60 comments! Wow! I am so honored! Luv you guys! Now going for 80! (nudge nudge wink wink... Just kidding!)**

**Anyway...new contest! Question: what is my favorite Warriors book? (Hint: it has a big battle in it.)**

**Laugh your butts off!**

"So...the Warrior Games have come to an end..." Firestar quietly quoted, holding his furry orange head down. The Warriors of the clans below him silently followed lead, resting like that for a few moments.

"BUT IT'S NACHO CHEEEESE DAY!" Leafpool screamed, disturbing the silence, and throwing random chips in the air and catching them in the air with her mouth like a boss.

The clans cheered wildly.

"NACHO CHEEEEESE!"

Firestar's head whipped up, crying to the heavens, "THANK STARCLAN! LEAFPOOL WILL NO LONGER EMBARASS ME!" he shouted.

"Some things never change, Firestar..." Leafpool evilly and slyly grinned, mewing darkly.

Meanwhile, a sob fest was going on in the corner. Well, just Crowfeather, really, bawling like a kit over his golf club, hugging it.

"I'll never forget you, baby.." he tenderly whispered, kissing it over and over until Leafpool noticed.

"Hey, what do you think I'M for, mousebrain!' she howled, bowling him over into the bushes, covering him with bright blue lipstick marks.

"Back to your clans!" Firestar cried, holding up the Nazi sign.

"Oh, wrong one..." he muttered, replacing it with the Warriors Flag, a flag with the 5 clans on it.

The cats exited the clearing.

... ... ... ...

Dovewing was walking around camp, bored out of her mind, when all of the sudden she caught a glimpse of Berrynose inside of the warriors den, styling his hair into bitsy swirls.

She dashed in, surprised, only to see Berrynose in front of a hot pink mirror with stylish swirls covering his...pink fur?!

"Berrynose, what are you doing? You dyed your fur PINK?" she screamed, utterly shocked.

That was, until Berrynose turned around.

With a flourish, Dovewing saw that Berrynose was wearing stunning purple, glittery eye shadow, complete with turquoise eyeliner and purple lipstick. He had also somehow turned his eye color to a bright, bright fuchsia, probably using contacts.

"Why, don't you see, darling?" he cried, sweeping his arms wide around the den, voice one of a superstar.

Dovewing incredulously shook her head, blinking wildly. "No, I don't..." she sourly mewed, disgusted.

"Fashion! Get with the style of today! Fashion, oh yes, so entrancing... so beautiful..." he sighed, trailing off.

Dovewing just stared. Then, she noticed.

The whole warriors den was..purple!

"Berrynose, what did you DO?" she shrieked, dumbfounded.

Berrynose smirked. "Like it? The nursery is lime green and the apprentice den is hot pink!" he gossiped.

"I hope to include my new Fashion line of clothes, Berry's Tattletail nose, host color, pink! Isn't it wonderful!" he gasped, twirling his tail, looking about to faint.

All of the sudden, a deafening explosion shook the ground, slamming Dovewing to the ground (which was also hot pink.) Quickly forgetting the Berrynose incident, Dovewing raced outside.

A kit fell on her head.

"Wha-" And so did another one. And another. She had the nerve to look upward, where cats were falling from the sky! They must have rocked upward from the explosion.

The nursery had been salvaged beyond repair, and Toadkit, in the midst of all the random brambles just now floating downward, on his hind legs.

His eyes were glaze red, steam was pouring out of his ears, spitting foam, claws out, gripping onto his Xbox controller. The only thing still standing was the TV.

His Minecraft player person was now on fire, and in front of him was a player with default skin with no pupils, setting him ON fire.

"DIE HEROBRINE!" he squealed, kicking the ground viciously.

(**Another quiz...do you know who Herobrine is on Minecraft? whoever answers first wins! If none of you know, I'll tell you in the next update.)**

Firestar ran out of the Lader's den, wearing a hot pink sweater that read, 'PEACE LOVE AND PEETA.'

"Toadkit! Coool it!' he drawled, slapping on some dark-shaded glasses.

Berrynose raced out of his girly den, screaming, "SOMEONE LIKES MY STYLISH CLOTHES!"

Firestar's sweater was indeed in Berry's Tattletail Nose style, the tag still hanging on, reading $100.

Dovewing also noticed that he was wearing a peace sign necklace draped around his neck, also wearing fake long fur extensions and sliders.

Yes. Firestar had gone hippie.

Dovewing sighed once again, shaking her head.

Thunderclan would never be normal!

**So...did you like! PLEASE REVIEW! THE BUTTON LOVES YOU! And also, don't forget about those quizzes! Mystery prizes await!**


	11. Chapter 11 SOS!

OMG GUYS, I AM SOOo sorry for abandoning you like this. My well of ideas has been TOTALLY dry ever since the warrior games ended... I am a horrible person! Please, help! Send your idea in the comments! Most will be used, and I will give full credit to you! And also, thanks for all the comments! U think I can shoot for 80 now...

SOS!

Thanks!

Spotty


	12. Chapter 12

_Hai guys!_

_Thanks to you guys, I'm baaack! Thanks for all the inspiration and ideas! I would especially like to thank Lilystar of Skyclan for her ideas, and MsSocialIssues for your suggestions! I used them!_

_Peace ouuuut! And I hope to get 80 reviews!_

"Let the gathering...BEGIN, DUDES!"

Firestar hopped up on the low-lying branch where the leaders sat poised on their haunches. Mistystar's fur was now dyed a deathly black, and she was wearing piercing violet contacts complete with turquoise eyeliner with globs of eyeshadow.

The rest of Riverclan seemed to be following her lead, faces moody and mysterious.

Over in the Windclan corner, the cats seemed to have lots of blonde fur highlights, also in other various colors, like black and blue.

Firestar was content in his tie dye shirt and Berry's Tattletail Nose designer clothes. The rest of Thunderclan seemed to be Tattletail CRAZY. Sparkly jeans, shiny fabrics and awesome designer hats were currently ALL the hots.

Meanwhile, Shadowclan was all smiles and giggles. All she she-cats were wearing bright pink lipstick and pretty hair ribbons, gossiping loudly. The toms were wearing snazzy tuxes, looking as equally happy with a snappy bow tie.

"Dudes, Thunderclan is SO chilling!" Firestar drawled, lazily rolling his eyes under his hippie glazzes.

"We's a goin Berry's Tattletail Nose..."

Thunderclan, fur dyed pink and shiny, sparkly purple, cheered as Berrynose smirked and smugly coughed.

"On to Shadowclan, dudes..."

Mistystar nodded curtly, lashing her tail.

"Riverclan's gone to...the dark side..." she whispered dramatically, narrowing her eyes and frowning.

Shadowclan's leader, Darkstar (or whatever his name is) smiled in his tux.

"Shadowclan is happy to announce that we are giving away free territory to anyone who wants it!" he mewed, happily closing his eyes and beaming.

All the cats gasped.

"Did you..hear that?" Squirrelflight gasped.

Leafpool turned to her after gazing at Crowfeather and making kissy noises.

"What?"

"Shadowclan's..nice! And fluffy! It's like...they traded faces with Riverclan!"

Leafpool couldn't believe her eyes, blinking wildly.

"They're...nice?!"

Dovewing tuned in with her psycopath hearing and turned to Shadowclan and yowled at the top of her voice, "Okay, which one of you are gay?"

Darkstar pleasantly smiled.

"We all are!"

Staaaaaaare, dudes. Staaaaaare.

Windclan's leader, Onestar, broke the awkward silence my meowing,"Hey, Starclan's Starcams facebooked me a video of Ivypool and Dustpelt! Check it ouuut!"

He picked up a remote and clicked the on button.

The ginormous flat screen TV mounted above the clearing sputtered to life.

Spottedleaf appeared on the TV, background green, smiling sweetly.

Her paw held a microphone as theme music blared in the background.

"Hello, watchers, I am your host of this episode of Prank Wars, Spottedleaf!" she laughed, swirling her fur around her paw.

Firestar sighed and meowed to himself, "She's still as hot..."

"Anyways, enough about me! Let's get to prank wars! The Starcames recorded this this morning. Enjoy!"

The screen blacked out and another one poped up. It featured Ivypool at first, fast asleep in her nest.

Then Dustpelt happened to strut in and gently woke her up.

"Hey, baby cakes.."

"Oh, Dustpelt..."

A paw was placed over the camera as they started to make out, and snickers erupted in the background.

The video closed and Spottedleaf again appeared.

"Hope you enjoyed this week's episode of prank wars! Join us again next week!"

The screen blanked.

All eyes appeared on Ivypool.

Staaaaaare...

"I BLAME CATNIP! JAYFEATHER FORCE FED ME IT!HE'S EVIL!" she spewed, covering her eyes as Bumblestripe and Tigerheart both glared at her.

"And the gathering is... OVA DUDES!" Firestar screamed.

The clans departed to their own territories.

Staaaaaaare, dudes, staaaaaare...

_U like, u like? Going for 80 reviews, dudes! I hope I can make it! All ideas are welcome!_

_Peace ouuuuut!_

_;D_

_Spottah_


	13. Chapter 13

_Hey guys!_

_OH. EM. GEE! 89 REVIEWS?! OMGOMGOMGOMGOMG!_

_I LURVE I GUYZ! EVERYONE GETS A PLUSHIE! *chucks out Leafpool plushies*_

_Ok, so I know that last chappie was a bit weird...and sorry, I didn't realize Dustpelt was Ivypool's grandfather, I just picked a random tom...sorry about that..._

_Ok, this is what happened for a month._

_My imagination: Oh, hey, yeah, about fanfic, I'm just gonna leave you in the dust...going on a vacation to san deigo...bye!_

_Me: Ok...WAIT WAT?_

_So that's why the chappie was horrible. But my imagination had come back (and it had a very lovely time, thank you) so this chappie is gonna ROCK!_

_Do you think I can make it to 100 reviews? Whoever is the 100th reviewer gets an AWESOME PRIZE! AND I MEAN AWESOME!_

_Oh yeah, one more thing. Do u guys think I should make a serious warriors fanfic? I have some really good ideas in this brain of mine...jk. But seriously. Your wish is my command._

_Thanks Maplepaw46! I used ur idea!_

CHAPTER 13

"DORRAAAA, THE EXPLORORRRR!" Greystripe sang loudly.

"SHUT UPPPP!" Firestar howled, holding his ears.

Graystripe seemed to not hear.

" I'M THE MAP, I'M THE MAP,I'M THE MAP, I'M THE MAP, I'M THE MAAAAP!"

"AHHHHHH!" Firestar screamed as he fell to the dusty camp floor, twitching for a while, then going silent.

"Uh...Firestar?" Dovewing prodded his side.

Squirrelflight glared at Dovewing feircely. "It's obvious he's losing a life!"

"But...he's already lost about 13 lives..."

"Well, duh, that's because Erin Hunter can't count, stupid..."

"Who's Erin Hunter?" Dovewing asked, confused.

Leafpool sighed.

Firestar suddenly leapt up. "Oh...hey guys..."

Suddenly, a blurring figure raced through camp, screaming on the top of its lungs.

"OHMYGOSHOHMYGOSHOHMYGOSHILOV EPEETAWEARESOULMATESFOREVERH EYDIDYOUKNOWTHATFIRESTARSTIL LHASHISSECRETBLANKIEANDTHATS TARCLANHASOFFICIALLYCHANGEDT OTEAMFINNIKANDTHATANDTHATA..." the figure collapsed to the ground in a dead faint.

"It's a bird!" Thornclaw screeched.

"It's a plane!" Purdy gasped.

"It's...EDWARD CULLEN!" Rosekit screamed in horror.

Brambleclaw raced through a bush and ran to Leafpool's side, all dressed up in his marshdeath gear.

"CRAP, LEAFPOOL! HOW MANY TIMES HAVE I TOLD YOU THAT YOU CAN'T EAT THE AMMO?" he yowled, ticked off.

...

Every Friday night was Karaoke night in Thunderclan, so this night was no different.

Pretty soon, the disco lights were set on high, the fresh kill pile had been restocked, and the catmint tables were the size of Mt. Everest.

Firestar interrupted the chatting crowd by tapping on the microphone.

"First of all, I would like to announce the first solo, preformed by Leafpool!"

The crowd cheered fury as Leafpool crept up to the mic.

"The first thing I would like to say is...STARBUCKS COFFEEEEEEEEE!" she howled. Cups of half-drunken coffee were thrown into the air, sprinkling into the air like rain.

"In honor of Graystripe and his Dora doll getting married..."

"YOU SAID YOU WOULD TELL NO ONE!" he screamed at her as everyone stared.

"I would like to sing a gathering of inappropriate wedding songs!" she happily cheered.

"DO IT, DO IT, DO IT..." the crowd chanted.

Leafpool nodded, beamed at the audience, stuffed a piece of catmint in her mouth, and started.

"Here comes the bride, here comes the bride..." she started out in a whisper.

But then the bass guitar kicked in to an earsplitting level.

"SHE'S MY BEST FRIEND'S GIRL!" she screamed into the mic, "BUT SHE USED TO BE MINE!"

The crowd cheered as Leafpool stuffed more and more catmint into her mouth, face turning red.

"BUT I STIIIIIIIL HAVENT FOUND...WHAT I'M LOOKING FOOOOR!"

The cats erupted into laughter as Graystripe held his doll close to hit chest, whispering, "It's okay, don't listen...go to your happy place..."

"YOU CAN' YOU WANT...BUT YOU CAN TRY SOMETIMES...AND YOU'LL FIND...YOU GET WHAT YOU NEED!"

More laughter. Firestar died a 15th time.

"I LIKE BIG BUTTS AND I CANNOT LIE...YOU OTHERS CAN'T DENY..."

She went from song to song to song.

"MAYBE NEXT TIME HE'LL THINK...BEFORE HE CHEATS!"

Finally, she stopped singing. The crowd's galling laughter stopped.

Akward silence.

Then...

"DUDE LOOKS LIKE A LAYDAH!" she screeched, followed by a, "Thank you, thank you..." and topped off with a bow.

Roses were thrown onto the stage. Firestar wiped tears from his eyes and handed her a Grammy Award. Jayfeather's stick asked her out.

"Next up is...Rosekit!"

The crowd hooted and whistled as Rosekit timidly stepped up the stage and her quivering voice whispered, "This song came from the bottom of my heart...'

The music started with a tinkling melody, one like from a music box. A couple of cats groaned and started fiddling with their iPads .

Boy, were they in for a shock...

"I'M A GOOFY GOOBER!" Rosekit suddenly squealed into the mic as music threw itself into the clearing.

"ROCK!" the crowd screamed back.

"I'M A GOOFY GOOBER!"

"ROCK!"

"WE'RE ALL GOOFY GOOBERS!"

"ROCK!"

"GOOFY GOOFY GOOFY GOOBER!"

"ROCK, ROCK, ROCK!"

Rosekit suddenly erupted sparkles, and a freakin' awesome guitar and wizard outfit appeared on her just like the Spongebob episode and she was lifted to the ceiling as cats reached for the ends of her robes, eyes filled with starlight.

"MY EYES...HAVE BEEN OPENED!" Firestar whispered.

As Rosekit began her grand descant, her robes and guitar disappeared into magical sparkles, revealing her to be a (gasp) kit.

The crowd departed as Rosekit hit the floor butt on.

"KIT POWAH!" she screeched, tongue out and paws raised.

"Next up is... Brambleclaw and Ashy! (**yes I know he died I like to mix up living cats and dead cats. DEAL WITH IT. :D) **

"Never call me that again..." Ashfur growled.

"Why shouldn't he, ASHY?" Brambleclaw mocked him.

The music blared up as a full fledge fight started up.

"HEY HEY YOU YOU I DON'T LIKE YOUR GIRLFRIEND!" Retorted Ashfur.

"NO WAY NO WAY, THINK YOU NEED A NEW ONE..."

"HEY HEY YOU YOU I DON'T LIKE YOUR GIRLFRIEND!" (**sorry if the lyrics don't match up quite right... you get the point)**

**"**HEY HEY HEY!" Squirrelflight barreled up the stairs, coming between the two spitting toms.

"CALM DOWN! ASHY, GO AWAY, I LIKE BRAMBLECLAW!"

"Mhmm, Squirrelflight ALWAYS has the right words to calm down a fight," Leafpool growled sarcasticly.

As Squirrelflight walked off with Brambleclaw and Ashfur pouted, Firestar strolled up to the mic.

"SO, that concludes our Karaoke night! Remember, tomorrow we are going to Disney World where Graystripe and Dora will be married! Hollywood Studios, baby! But remember our clan motto:"

"THERE IS ALWAYS ROOM FOR MORE CATNIP!" all of Thunderclan chanted.

"Thank you, and good night!"

_SOOO DID YOU LIKE? DID YOU LIKE? Please review! I'm trying to make it to 100! And tell me your thoughts about a serious story! And don't forget about the prize!_

_Spottah_


	14. Chapter 14 update!

hey guys!

Sorry I've kinda let you lie in the dust, but this is a major update. I hate two SUPER COOL SPECIAL CHAPPIES planned for both stories! Should be up soon!

Also, how would you guys like it if I wrote a different story? Like, not one about Warriors? Yay or nay? Would you be all like, "OHHHH MYYYY GOSSSSSH THIS IS SOOOO BORINGGGGG!" or like, "OMGOMGOMGOMGOMG, THIS IS SOOOOO COOOOOL!"

What is your opinion? Please PM or review your opinion.

Thanks for 100 reviews, again~! I A SUPERSTARRR! LOL JUUUST KIDDIN

Thanks guyz!

~~~~~~~~~lol~~~~~~~~

SOMEBODY SAVE BOB!

~~~N~~~~~~lol~~~~~~

OH NOES A SHARK!

~~~~~~~~N~~~~~~lol~~~~

AHHHH~~

~~~~~~~~~~~N~~lol~~~~

OH NOEEEEEE!

~~~~~~~N~lol~~~~

SAVE HIM DUDE!

~~~~~~~~~~Nlol~~~~

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~N~~~~

YOOU'RE TOO LATTTTE!

Sorry that you had to put up with my stupidness for a second there...

anyway, yeah! Please review your opinion!

~Spotty~


	15. Chapter 15

_Hey guys!_

I'm baaack! Sorry, I had insane writer's block. Anyway, before I lose your attention, here's the chappie!

Chapter whatever I lost count

As the clan hopped off the bus to Holly Studios, Graystripe stood alone in the center of a clearing.

"It's...beautiful!" he cried, bursting into tears and fiercely hugging his Dora.

"The perfect place!

"It's beautiful, " a voice chirped from behind him.

Whipping around, he spied Leafpool, staring in awe at...the Tower of Terror.

And at the moment they made eye contact, he knew.

"No." he gasped.

"YES!" Leafpool yowled.

"I AM NOT GOING ON THERE!" he screamed, shielding Dora.

"I WILL FORCE YOU!" she howled.

"But,"

"IM A FIRIN MAH LAZOR!" she screamed.

Graystripe bowed his head as Leafpool held her marshmallow gun to his head.

He officially had no choice.

"Wow!" the kits chirped as they bounded out of the bus.

"OOO, Fallowkit's gonna be sooo jealous..." Rosekit gossiped as she snapped a pic of the main street on her brand new iPhone 5 to send to a Shadowclan kit, Fallowkit, whom she had been seeing for a moon.

Frogkit (_yes I made him up) _gazed around the clearing, his eyes franticly searching for something.

"Where is it?" he hungrily asked.

"Where's what?"

"Duh, Startours!" he yowled, raising his fake light saber and waving it through the air.

"Take that, Count Dudu, and that, and that!" he screamed as he slammed his light saber from side to side.

"Um, Frogkit..." Rosekit started, rolling her eyes and pulling out a contact mirror to apply more eyeliner.

"It's Count Duku, not Dudu... and he's not even real! Duh!" she meowed, now shading on bright purple lipstick. She quickly snapped a pic of herself and texted it to Fallowkit, who texted back, "Looking hot as usual."

She blushed.

"What a flirt..."

Frogkit lept after imaginary prey and Rosekit wandered off to find someplace to make some of her surprise dish (requested) for Graystripe's wedding.

"Are you sure this is a good idea?" Graystripe whispered as he held his Dora.

"Yeah. Who doesn't like tower of terror?" Leafpool answered, jamming her earbuds to I'm Sexy and I know it.

"I don't know...Dora dosn't like scary rides..." Graystripe whined.

"Leafpool rolled her eyes.

"Don't be a sissy," she scorned, "We're almost there. The line's letting up!"

"We've been waiting forever..."

"Yeah...that's the point of a line..."

"Just then, the elevator opened in front of them.

"All right!" Leafpool cheered, leaping into a seat and buckling up.

Graystripe paused before placing a paw into the car, pausing again, and then continued.

Right as he buckled in, the doors slammed shut, sealing his doom.

He wimpered as the ride slowly trolled on, showing random crap about the Twilight Zone, and the ghosts waving at you.

"Hey, this actually isn't half bad..." he whispered, relaxing slightly. But then the car started to rise.

"YEEEE HAWWW!" howled Leafpool.

"Oh no..."

They reached the peak of the slope...and then the doors opened, showing a brief view of the park. Graystripe jumped so suddenly and hardly that Dora jolted out of his lap...and right out of the window.

"NOOOO!" he wailed as the doors jammed shut, yanking them down at 35 miles per hour (_I googled it.)_

"DORA!" he screamed both in terror and fear as the machine lurched up and down, up and down... Finally, it reached to a stop.

"See, that wasn't so ba-" Leafpool started right before Graystripe tossed his cookies all over her and passed out.

Rosekit stood guard at her easy bake oven, just finishing up with the catmint spices when Frogkit ran over to her, still thrashing his light saber.

"EVERYONE GET UNDER COVER! HOSTILE WOOKIE ATTACK! DROIDS, DATABASE 12536 NEEDS TO BE COVERED NO-" he shrieked just before Rosekit knocked his lights out with a curled paw.

"That's better..." she turned to her oven again, but having second thoughts, she took out her eyeliner and drew large X's on his eyelids before grunting happily and returning to her work.

Graystripe sprinted to his fallen Dora and moaned as he saw her mangled body.

"Will she make it, doctor?" he dramatically asked.

Leafpool sighed and shook her head sadly.

"I'm afraid not..."

"NOOOOOO!"

_Poor Graystripe_! Will Dora make it? Vote now! Leave a comment! PM me! I prefer you leave a comment!

PEACE!

~Spotty


	16. Chapter 16 Halloween Special!

_Okay, you know how Dora's on the verge of death and everything? Well, I've decided to hold that on pause and do a Halloween special! YAAAAAY!_

CHAPTER...I LOST COUNT

Firestar was in his den, trying on his new costume.

"I hope Sandstorm likes it..." he muttered to himself, looking himself over and over in his new pink highlighted room (Berry's Tattletail.)

In his pink, fluffy, lighted outlined mirror that was supposed to be for Sandstorm, he gazed at himself wondering whether she WOULD like it or not. But he soon noticed how...dashing he looked.

"Oh, Firestar, you handsome devil.." he purred, walking towards the mirror.

"You look so SEXY in that outfit, mah darlin," he crooned, walking closer and closer to the mirror, wiggling his eyebrows at himself."

"UH...WHAT ARE YOU DOING FIRESTAR?"

Firestar whipped around to see Sandstorm, looking utterly baffled. She was in her costume, a maid's outfit (and how true it was) and she seemed to be seething.

"You're...PEETA?"

"WHY, HOW DID YOU GUESS?" he screamed, jumping up in the air.

"THIS HAS GONE TOOOO FAR!" she howled, grabbing his head by the fur.

"YOU LOVE PEETA MORE THAN YOU LOVE MEEEE!" she screeched, bashing his head against the wall.

_From outside the Den_

Rosekit's ears perked up as she heard muffled screams and howling coming from Firestar's den.

"IT'S ALIIIIIIVE!" she screeched, and she sprinted into the warriors den.

"HEY GUYS HEY GUYS HEY GUYS HEY, HEY GUYS! GUYYYYYS!"

Graystripe looked wearily up at Rosekit.

"WHAT? I'M TRYING TO GET SOME SLEEP BEFORE WE HAVE ANOTHER PARTY!" he moaned, swiping at her face.

"IT'S ALLLLIVVVVE!" she howled again, totally freaking out.

Now all the cats were scared, looking up and ears alert.

"What's the crazy kit talking about now?"

"Yup, she must be on the catmint again..."

Then they heard the haunting sounds coming from Firestar's den.

And all was silent.

For a while, anyway, before Leafpool rushed in, eyes wild and slobber dripping from her jaws. She was dressed in full MarshDeath clothing, including army jacket and gun.

"FRANKENKITTY LIVES AGAIN! HE'S POSESSING FIRESTAR!"

Brambleclaw hopped out of the Dressing Room, in full gear.

"THIS SOUNDS LIKE AN IMPORTANT JOB! LET'S GO!"

"BUILD THE BONFIRE FIRST! THAT'S THE ONLY WAY TO KILL FRANKINWEENIE!" Leafpool shouted.

"YOU, THERE, RANDOM CAT, GO GET ME SOME FIREWOOD! YOU, THERE, ANOTHER RANDOM CAT, GO FETCH ME THOSE DEADLY FIRE WEAPONS THAT SHADOWCLAN SEEMS TO ALWAYS HAVE IN THEIR TRASH, AND YOU! THERE! ANOTHER RANDOM CAT! GO GET ME SOME MATCHES FROM A TWOLEG HOUSEHOLD! GO NOOOOW!"

The cats dashed off as Leafpool and Brambleclaw silently creeped up on Firestar's den, as silent as shadows, as daring as Dragons.

And in that moment, the screaming stopped.

Just stopped.

Like always, in those cheesy romantic movies, after the couple fights, they forgive each other and start to make out. In fact, this embarrassing moment between Sandstorm and Firestar was currently being broadcasted live on Starcams, and many a dead cat were giggling fiercely about it right now. This was their idea of Halloween, pulling pranks. That very video was going in every single clan cat's inbox with a click of a mouse very soon.

But, in their fight, Sandstorm had ripped up Firestar's clothes, leaving lots of bare patches of orange fur showing. And he was covered from head to toe in what looked like blood...that was actually lipstick.

So, all in all, he looked like a Zombie.

Walking dead anybody? Universal's Halloween horror nights? No? Okay...just a thought...

Outside the den, a HUGE bonfire was going on. Many a cat had dressed up in their Halloween costumes, hoping to scare away Frankinkitty, although I doubt sparkly Unicorns would do the trick, which is what most of the cats were dressed up in.

Leafpool, in the other hand, was Cleopatra, ordering the cats around like a true queen, although she hadn't exactly dropped the gun, giving her a modern Cleopatra-the-murderer look. The wild look in her eyes didn't exactly help, either. She was so into her costume, that she even had purplish-sparkly eye shadow on, and kohl (pretty much eyeliner for you uneducated people) in Egyptian style, making her luminescent eyes look a lot deeper and prettier, and not to mention larger.

Rosekit, on the other hand, was the Grim Reaper.

Her costume was so creepy that the other cats didn't dare pass her path. Her black robe sweeped the ground, leaving a dark trail behind her. She had her make-up done in a Goth look, but you couldn't see it anyway, because a black robe covered her head, stained with fake blood. She carried around one of those like staff things with blades on the top that looked frightening real, but, of course, was fake, and she had painted the whole thing to look gruesome.

A true Drama queen at heart, Berrytail was a Disco person from the 70's or something. All he said way, "GROOVY DUDE!" and he would pull random stunt moves like the worm, or perhaps the Thriller dance.

But now, the grand time had come.

The bonfire was built, flames soaring high.

Fireworks looking like jack o lanterns were exploding into the sky (courtesy of Purdy, who happened to like exploding things.)

And everything was ready for the sacrificing of Frankenkitty.

_DUN...DUN..DUUUUUUN! I LEAVE YOU AT A CLIFFY! COMMENT-LIKE-SUBSCRIBE!_

_PLEASE COMMENT! MAKE ME FEEL GOOD!_

_AND DON'T FORGET TO CHECK OUT ALL THESE AWESOME BOOKS IM WRITING WITH OTHER PEOPLE!_

_AND PLEASE READ MY PROFILE, IT'LL GIVE YOU UPDATES ON WHAT'S GOING ON!_

_~Spotty :3_


	17. So sorry! Update!

Okay. Let me get this straight.

No, I have not abandoned you. Yes, I am updating TODAY. TODAY, PEOPLES, TODAY ON BOTH STORIES! And, yes, I have three reasons I have abandoned you for like a month.

1: I found out I might move (a very good possibility) and it left me shellshocked. This will be my fifth time moving, so you would think I am used to it by now, but I've been here longer than any of the other homes I've been through, so if I DO move, it will be the hardest. No, this will not affect my Fanfic account.

2: I just got into middle school, and the girls are MEAN! I HAAAATE IIIIIIIIIIT! I've had a hard time dealing with it...

3: My well of ideas has been dry. no ideas have come. But with frankenkitty on the loose, I expect that I can come up with part two and even the next chapter after that for poor broken dora... and for Eternal Storm? I've had that chapter written for 2 months already on a notebook, but comletely forgot about it untill just not.

PLEEEEASE FORGIVE ME! :(! I PROMISE I WILL MAKE IT UP TO YOU TODAY!

~Spotty


	18. Chapter 18

**Hey guys!**

**CONTEST TIIIIIME!**

**WHOEVER CAN WRITE THE FUNNIEST ONE-SHOT ABOUT LEAFPOOL WILL WIN! IT WILL BE FEATURED ON EITHER MY NEXT CHAPPIE OR THE ONE AFTER THAT, AND THE DEADLINE IS NOVEMBER 15TH, SO HURRY! PM IT TO ME (OR, IF YOU REALLY FEEL LIKE IT, YOU CAN PUT IT IN THE COMMENTS, BUT I'D RATHER YOU PM IT)**

**DON'T FORGET!**

**Anyways...**

**I worked really hard on this chappie, so enjoy!**

Frankenkitty lives again! (Part two)

"Die, Frankenkitty, die!"

Leafpool had now even started a cheer standing on a high rock and lifting her arms over the crowd to signal a wave, like Alex in Madagascar or something. All cats were now in their Halloween costumes, most cats the usual, Grim Reapers and such, some ghosts, but some were even something more gruesome, something that was a horror to all, something so frightening, most cats wouldn't even look at it because of fear...HELLO KITTY.

One cat even dressed as Dora, just to give Graystripe a smack in the face. For...*sniff*...Dora didn't make it out of the Tower of Terror... *sob* *sniff*...her funeral was next week...*blows nose and coughs that opens up into a heartfelt sob* ...I'm sorry, I'm getting a little off the topic and emotional...*bursts into tears.*

Anyway...*sob* Leafpool stuck out her paw and shouted, "THE FIRE BE LIT!"

Some cats poured gallons of lighter fluid all over the wood (from Shadowclan's trash, where else? They found all kinds of weird things there... ...pocket nukes, fireworks..you name the explosive, it was there) and a lit pocket bomb that was meant for a terrorist attack (again, rummaging through Shadowclan't trash) and chucked it into the fire.

Oh, and Leafpool gave the warning a little bit too late.

"QUICK, EVERYONE, DUCK BEHIND A ROCK, A TREE, ANYTHING..."

The fire exploded into life. Quite literally.

Cats went flying into Riverclan and Shadowclan territory, interrupting in Shadowclan Blackstar's 34th wedding (He and mermaid Dora broke up and just weren't meant to be...and anyways, Malibu Barbie was WAY hotter...)

Only about half the cats were left standing, but they madly cheered anyway.

"The ropes be ready!"

Random cats sped around to retie the ropes to shackle Frankenkitty and throw him into the PIT OF DOOM...otherwise known as the bonfire.

Leafpool dramatically turned to Firestar's den, shakily pointed her finger, got distracted, applied a fresh layer of lipstick, drank a pineapple smoothie, updated her Facebook account, named a freckle on her elbow Bob, mooned over a picture of Crowfeather, checked her Gmail, renamed her freckle Steve, had a good conversation with the voices in her head, and THEN screamed, "RELEASE THE FRANKENKITTY!"

Meanwile, Firestar and Standstorm had just noticed the noises outside and sent Firestar to check on what was going on. Covered in red lipstick, walking like a zombie he was so exhausted, he tried to say something, but his statement was rudely interrupted by an uninvited yawn, so what he meant to say turned out something like this:

"Whaaaa...YARRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRNYYYYAYYAA AAAA!" Which didn't exactly sound very pleasant.

Rosekit peeked her head out from behind the rock, took a quick look at Firestar, and screamed, "HE'S COVERED IN BLOOOOOOOOOOOD! AHHHHHHHHHHH!" (Which was actually the lipstick.)

The other cats screamed with her, absolutely terrified. Firestar blatantly stood there, totally confuzzled.

"Um...wha?" he droned, swaying on the spot, about to drop dead asleep.

"IT SPEEEEAKS! IT'S INTELLIGENT! IT'S GONNA KILL US ALLLL!" she bawled.

"RUN!"

The cats scattered from the clearing, Firestar calling after them.

"Guys! It's me! I'm fine! What's going on?"

The cats halted, frozen. One dared to look his way, and his face broke down in relief when he saw Firestar.

"It's Firestar!"

"He's back!"

They all raced each other to him, bowling his over with joy and happiness. Firestar had no clue what was going on, yet he shared his clan's happiness and there, on the spot, he fell asleep, into dreaming mode imminently.

Looking at his mangled body, the cats at first just stood there, dumbfounded, doing nothing, waiting for him to get up and yell, "SURPRISE!" But, nothing happened. For a full minute, everything was frozen in time, before Leafpool's voice shattered the silence, deftly cutting it skillfully, as if her voice were a ninja knife weapon.

"HE'S DEAD! FRANKENKITTY...HE KILLED HIM! NOOOOOOOOOOOO! THE BLOOD HE KILLED HIIIIM!" she screamed, throwing her head back in shame.

Meanwhile, Firestar was having the FREAKIEST dream. He was peacefully chasing a butterfly, minding his own business, when a GIANT JUSTIN BEIBER ATTACKED HIM, CHAINED HIM TO A TREE SO TIGHT THAT HE COULDN'T MOVE, AND SUNG 'BABY' UNTIL HIS EARS BLED! AND, RIGHT BEFORE HE FINISHED THE DEAL WITH A DAGGER...Firestar woke up with start, Leafpool sobbing over his chest.

"Leafpool! Are you okay? HAVE YOU BEEN IN THE CATMINT AGAIN? YOU KNOW THAT JAYFEATHER WILL WHIP YOU AGAIN WITH HIS BELT" he scolded her, jumping to his feet.

Leafpool tearfully looked up at him, disbelieving.

But it was true!

Firestar was back from the 'dead'!

"FIRESTAR'S ALIVE! AGAIN!" the clan cheered, lifting him onto their shoulders, going nuts.

Firestar STILL had no idea what was going on, but he played along and milked it for all it was worth.

"YOU KNOW WHAT IT'S TIME FOR!" he screamed.

T he clan looked blankly at him.

"Um...what?" Rosekit piped up.

Firestar rolled his eyes like a teenager.

"Duh.. CATMINT PARTEEEE!"

In 30 minutes flat, the DJ was ready (Rosekit) the food was prepared (Rosekit's surprise dish) the catmint tables were set (courtesy of Jayfeather) and the disco ball was up!

PARTY TIIIME!

The cats celebrated like there was no tomorrow. I'm Sexy and I Know It was played over 15 times, and Firestar showed off his awesume skillz by doing the worm.

Suddenly, the stereo turned off, the party lights dimmed, and a chilling voice swept through the clearing.

"Frankenkitty lives again..." it howled.

The cats screeched in horror and ran from the clearing, even Firestar, who was screaming like a girl and STILL didn't know what was going on.

The two Shadowclan cats hidden in a nearby bush with the microphone snickered as everything turned to chaos.

"That's what they get for going through our trash!" One whispered joyously.

"This is TOTALLY going on YouTube..." the other gossiped.

**Sooo, did u like it? I enjoyed writing it! Don't forget about the contest, and REVIEW!**

**~Spotty**


	19. Chapter 19 contest winners!

**Hai guys!**

**Okay, THERE ARE CONTEST WINNERZZZ! LOLZ! AND COMING SOON IS A THANKSGIVING CHAPPIE...SO STAY TUNED!**

**Stats:**

**1st place: Kuku88**

**2nd place: Maplepaw46**

**3rd place: SwiftStar1**

**Okay...contest winners!**

kuku88

Leafpool was walking down the road to the WindClan border when she heard a loud roar.

"OH MAH STARCLAN WHAT THE DARK FOREST WAS THAT!?"

"I'M AN AWESOME LIIIOOONN!" Lionblaze screamed, skipping past.

"...He's obviously on catmint again. Why can't Jayfeather just put the catmint away?" Leafpool commented, making a face.

"Because catmint is dah bomb!"

Leafpool turned to see Crowfeather, whom she was meeting. "Don't tell me you're on catmint too! Jerk!" She kicked him in the face, sending him flying off.

"NOOO LEAFPOOL, I LOVE YOOUUU!" he shouted as he flew all the way to ShadowClan.

"Come back when you're not an addict!" she called innocently.

Just then, Squirrelflight appeared. "What in StarClan happened here?" she demanded.

Leafpool shrugged. "I made Crowfeather fly because he was hooked on catmint."

"Okaaaay then." Squirrelflight pulled out her phone. "Why didn't you reply to my texts?"

Leafpool snorted. "Most of them had to do with you and Brambleclaw."

"Did not!" Squirrelflight snapped.

"Did too!" Leafpool snapped back. She pulled out her phone and began scrolling. "See here...and here...and here..." Then she cursed. "Hate having paws."

"SQUIRRELFLIGHT WHY I LOVED YOU," Ashfur cried, appearing from in between the two she-cats. "I even have photos of you hidden in my nest!"

"Get away from me, you stalker!" Squirrelflight screeched, trying to push Ashfur away.

"OH MAH STARCLAN."

A huge burn appeared on Ashfur's forehead, with a big white glob on top, sizzling as he fell back.

Brambleclaw stood, wearing a cape, a pair of boots, and a feathered hat. He was carrying a big purple gun. He blew on it, causing the smoke to drift off. "Score for me; the awesome Puss in Boots," he meowed. "I so saved your butt," he added in a smirk to Squirrelflight.

"Did not!" she declared, sniffing.

Brambleclaw kissed her. "Aww, I didn't mean to make you mad..." The kiss then turned into a make-out session.

Leafpool made a face, backing away. "Watching cats kiss is...creepy." Then she pulled out her phone again. "ARGH. STUPID PAWS."

"Hey I can make your paws into HANDS!" Jayfeather shouted, appearing out of nowhere with a wizard's hat and cape on.

"GYAAAA! Jayfeather, you scared the crap out of me!" Leafpool screamed at her son.

Jayfeather's blind eyes glinted. "Come forth, magical spirits of StarClan...and give this poor cat HANDS!"

A glowing star within a circle surrounded Leafpool.

"OH MY STARCLAN; I SHOULD SO TAKE PICTUUUURREEES!" She began snapping away and didn't notice as a dark mist began to surround her.

Slowly, the mist covered her paws, but she was too busy taking pictures of cat skulls, spell books, herbs, and a candle.

Then she noticed it was getting easier to press the camera button. She checked her paws, and was amazed to see fingers growing out of her fur.

She turned to see Jayfeather, who was suddenly wearing a tiara, a dress, and had wings. He was also carrying his special stick, which had sparkles surrounding it.

"Now remember dearie," he mewed kindly, "The spell only lasts for two hours—" Jayfeather's speech was interrupted by loud screeching.

"WHAT THE DARK FOREST DID YOU DO TO LEAFPOOL!? WHAT'S WRONG WITH HER PAWS—" He shook his head. "I MEAN HANDS!? I MEAN UGH! WHATEVER! JUST WHAT THE DARK FOREST HAPPENED!?"

It was Crowfeather, whom this time WASN'T on catmint.

Jayfeather began beating him back with his stick, which had grown. He was suddenly a monkey, wearing armour and a hat with red pompoms. "我是孙悟空*!"

"AXKSAJBSNSZHAHA WTC!?" Crowfeather shouted, dodging Jayfeather's blow.

"你给我回来**!" Jayfeather shouted, flying after him.

"SINCE WHEN IN STARCLAN COULD YOU FLY!?" Crowfeather screamed back, running away.

Leafpool sighed happily at the fact Crowfeather was fighting for her. Then she noticed she was slowly becoming whole human.

She quickly posted on Facebook and Twitter:

"OMFSC AXXAHSJSSMZ I'M A TWOLEG NOW THANKS TO JAYFEATHER! OwO"

She quickly got a lot of likes, follows, comments and everything.

"Squirrelflight: OHH WATS HAPPENING NOW? :oo"

"Leafpool: WELL I'M FULLY 2LEG NOW AND JAYFEATHER HAS BECOME THE MONKEY KING WHILE FIGHTING CROWFEATHER"

"Squirrelflight: KEEEEWWL :DD"

"Lionblaze: AXSAZZKABDKAS I'M A ' LION, IDIOTS! :DDD"

"Leafpool: GO AWAY LIONBLAZE K? U'RE ON CATMINT!"

"Lionblaze: MEANIE. LEAFPOOL'S A BIG FAT MEANIE SHE MAKE ME CRY A"

"Brackenfur: "Y R WE TYPING IN CAPITALS"

"Leafpool: IDK, AND I DON'T CARE ):"

"Lionblaze: CUZ CAPS LOCK IS AWESOME CAPS LOCK CAPS LOCK CAPS LOCK CAPS LOCK CAPS LOCK"

"Firestar: OMGEE MAH DAUGHTAH'S BECOMIN A 2LEG :OOO"

"Sandstorm: SCARY THOUGHT"

"Leafpool: IT'S JUST TEMPORARY"

"Squirrelflight: WHOAAAAA"

"Graystripe: CHOCOLAAAATE"

"Leafpool: SHUT UP GRAYSTRIPE"

"Dovewing: GIVE ME THE CHOCOLATE GRAYSTRIPE OR I'MA HUNT YOU DOWN AND POST THAT VIDEO OF U SINGING IN THE DIRTPLACE UP D:"

"Graystripe: NOOOOOOOOOOO"

"Dovewing: YESSSSS"

"Tigerheart: HEY DOVEY WOVEY MEET ME AT THE SHADOWCLAN BORDER NITE AROUND 9:00 K?"

"Dovewing: KAAAAAAY. BUT STOP POSTING IT ON FB EVERY1 CAN SEE"

"Bumblestripe: LEAVE MY DOVEWING ALONE,IDIOT"

"Tigerheart: WHO THE HECK ARE YOU CALLING IDIOT, MOUSEBRAIN"

"Bumblestripe:HATE U

"Tigerheart: HATE U 2"

"Leafpool: OMG THIS IS ABOUT ME BEING A 2LEG NOT UR STUPID LOVE LIVES"

"Squirrelflight: TYPING WHILE KISSING BRAMBLECLAW. YEA, I'M JUST THAT AWESOME :D ;

"Brambleclaw: I LUV U 2 BABEEE. LOTS OF WUBZ FROM BRAMBLECLAW. XOXOXO ;***"

"Squirrelflight: AWW THNX ~33"

"Ashfur: STAY AWAY FROM HER SHE'S MINE!"

"Brambleclaw: STFU ASHFUR DON'T MAKE ME SHOOT YOU AGAIN"

"Hollyleaf: YEAAA ASHFUR U'RE A CREEPY STALKER"

"Lionblaze: I'M STILL AN AWESOME LION :DD"

"Leafpool: . . . I GIVE UP"

"Squirrelflight: BTW WAT R U GONNA DO WITH CROWFEATHER NOW THAT U'RE A TWOLEG? ;DD"

"Leafpool: O YEAAAA I DIDN'T THINK BOUT DAT..."

"Squirrelflight: URE WELCOME. IF I WAS THERE I'D SNAP MAH FINGAHS BUT I DON'T HAVE FINGERS ANYWAY I ONLY HAVE CLAWS. LUUUUCKYY YOU"

"Leafpool: THNX"

Then she shut her phone off before she would have to read any more stupid comments between the cats.

She glanced back to see Crowfeather and Jayfeather tackling each other. Jayfeather apparently now had the assistance of fairies, leprechauns, unicorns, and other magical creatures against Crowfeather.

"Ow ow ow ow ow ow," Crowfeather muttered over and over again as the mythical creatures attacked.

She sweat-dropped. But the sweat-drop didn't disappear like it should've, so she had to claw it off. She muttered under her breath, "Stupid sweat-drops. I KNEW they were pointless."

Leafpool fixed the fur on the top of her head (it was really all the fur she had left), but she couldn't seem to lick it. It wasn't until she brought one of the thin strands over that she managed to lick it.

She made a face. It tasted weirder than normal fur. Why were twolegs so weird, anyway?

Leafpool then walked over to where Jayfeather and Crowfeather were squabbling. She playfully pulled Crowfeather up by the tail, then moved her grip to the scruff of his neck.

"Hey!" Crowfeather cried indignantly, his paws flailing. He looked over his shoulder to see Leafpool. "A twoleg!? What in StarClan do you want with me, you weirdo!"

"It's me, you idiot!" Leafpool said. Crowfeather stared at her blankly. "It's me, LEAFPOOL!"

"No wooonder you can speak cat," he said.

Leafpool rolled her eyes, doing a face-paw—no wait, a face-PALM—seeing as she had hands now and not paws.

She sat down, still holding Crowfeather.

Jayfeather flew upwards before leaping onto a cloud, followed by all the magical creatures. "I'm your fairy godmother," he said dramatically.

Leafpool rolled her eyes, shrugging. "Yeah, sure. Whatever. You're not even older than me."

"Remember it only lasts for awhile!" he reminded her. "再见!"

"Zai jian to you too...or whatever you said!" Leafpool called after him.

She stared intently at Crowfeather, who looked fearful. "What?" he demanded.

Pink hearts began floating out of Leafpool.

"What are these...?" Crowfeather hooked his claws into them, popping the heart-shaped bubbles.

Leafpool blinked, shaking her head to clear it. The hearts disappeared, much to Crowfeather's disappointment.

"I'm gonna have some fun with you," Leafpool said with a playful grin.

Crowfeather swallowed.

A shout filled the air, causing birds to squawk as they flapped out of the trees. "GYAAAA!"

.

.

.

.

.

.

"Stop it!" Crowfeather cried, hitting the grass with tears in his eyes as Leafpool yanked at his tail again and again.

She grinned before looking up to face the camera and winking. "Thought it was something dirty, didn't you?" she teased, breaking the fourth wall.

"...No. Just...NO. Breaking the fourth wall is MY thing." Pinkie Pie growled, appearing in front of the screen and shaking it. "UNDERSTAND!? OR I'LL TURN YOU ALL INTO CUPCAKES!"

Leafpool shoved her aside. "Calm down; this isn't even your story."

"Pinkie promise?"

Leafpool nodded.

Pinkie nodded back, urging her on. "Pinkie Pie swear?"

Leafpool rolled her eyes before reciting dully, "Cross my heart and hope to fly; stick a cupcake in my eye—" She placed her fist towards her eye, bur forgot to close it. "OW!"

Pinkie Pie cringed slightly. "Just like Twilight..." She blinked before eyeing Leafpool for a moment. "Okie. Dokie. Lokie," she said slowly, backing away with slow steps. Then she smiled brightly and skipped off. "Off to Sugar Cube Corner, off to Sugar Cube Corner~!" she sang cheerfully.

Leafpool rolled her eyes. "Bring back my order of cake!" she reminded the pink party pony.

"Okie dokie lokie!" Pinkie promised over her shoulder.

Then she turned back to Crowfeather, who'd fallen asleep. She stroked his peaceful face.

...Then she yanked the tail again.

He awoke with a jolt and a yowl, hissing. He instinctively tried to bite her, but couldn't reach.

Leafpool giggled, giving him a kiss on the forehead to calm him down.

He relaxed, and she stroke his ears. He let out a rumbling purr, making Leafpool smile.

But then she tugged at his ears, and he jolted again. He hissed, but then she started petting him again and he relaxed.

"AM I THE ONLY SANE ONE HERE!?" he cried.

"You were on catmint just awhile ago," Leafpool reminded him.

"BUT I'M NOT NOW!" he groaned.

"...Then maybe you are," Leafpool admitted. And she yanked his tail again.

He howled. "OWW!"

This went on for awhile until Leafpool transformed back to a cat again.

She sighed, staring at her paws. "It was fun while it lasted...now I'll never think of twolegs the same way ever again."

Just then, a random twoleg walked by.

Leafpool instinctively jumped into a bush and hid, waiting for the twoleg to pass.

When it did, she turned to the screen and shrugged. "What? I guess some things just never change. Ah well, it was nice while it lasted."

Jayfeather appeared beside her, still dressed as 孙悟空*. "I told you it'd only last awhile..."

She nearly jumped out of her fur. "WtC Jayfeather; you nearly scared the crap out of me!"

He screwed up his face. "This is no place to make dirt," he commented.

She did a face-palm—no wait,now it was a face-PAW—seeing as she had paws again and not hands.

Jayfeather seemed to vanish then in a poof of smoke. "再见..."

She blinked, coughing. "Yeah, sure; zai jien...whatever that is..."

Then she heard coughing beside her.

"Darnitt that pretty much NEVER works," Jayfeather muttered. Then he DEFINITELY vanished in the second poof of smoke. "再见..."

"Yeah; okay—zai jien. Jeez."

Just then, Crowfeather pulled her out of the nest.

"Ow!" she cried. "!" she screamed..

...She actually LITERALLY screamed that...WORD-FOR-WORD.

"...Now it's MY turn to play," Crowfeather said, winking.

Leafpool blinked nervously, swallowing. "Wait...what do you mean—...!?"

A new scream pierced the air, causing irritated birds to squawk AGAIN as they flapped out of their trees AGAIN...and JUST after they had settled back down again too.

"KYAAAA!"

.

.

.

.

.

.

"Stop it!" Leafpool cried, scratching at the blades of grass with tears in her eyes as Crowfeather tugged at her tail again and again.

He smirked before looking up to face the camera and winking. "Thought it was something dirty AGAIN, didn't you?" he teased, breaking the fourth wall.

"Cupcaaaaakes," Pinkie reminded warningly, dropping a packaged cake in front of Leafpool as she randomly appeared from upside-down in the air.

"That was her Pinkie promise swear; not mine," Crowfeather reminded the pink party pony.

"Okie dokie lokie..." she said slowly as she slowly drew back up. "Hurry up," she muttered under her breath.

Crowfeather's ear twitched in amusement. Still tugging at Leafpool's tail, he posted something on Facebook and Twitter...and commented on Leafpool's post from earlier too.

"PULLING LEAFPOOL'S TAIL FOR REVENGE :DD"

He got a lot of likes, follows, comments and all that stuff fairly quickly.

The first one was:

"Squirrelflight: HAHA KEEEWL THAT IS SOO CUTE xDD"

Then the comments just flowed in.

His comment to Leafpool's status (and all the new comments) was pretty much just the same thing...just with a small twist:

"Crowfeather: PULLING LEAFPOOL'S TAIL FOR REVENGE. AND I'MA GET SQUIRRELFLIGHT FOR SUGGESTING IT TOO :DD"

Squirrelflight replied with:

"Squirrelflight: HAHA KEEEWL THAT IS SOO CUTE JUST NOT THE PART OF HAVING REVENGE ON ME xDD"

"Brambleclaw: DON'T WORRY, I'LL PROTECT U!"

"Squirrelflight: Thnx ~33"

"Brackenfur: Y R WE STILL TYPING IN CAPITALS..."

"Crowfeather: WHO CARES Y I DON'T ;P"

"Lionblaze: CUZ CAPS LOCK IS AWESOME CAPS LOCK CAPS LOCK CAPS LOCK CAPS LOCK CAPS LOCK"

And then the comments just kept pouring in...

He grinned, winking at the screen before he continued to play with Leafpool, putting his phone away into a magical, invisible pocket.

Pinkie randomly appeared on screen. "Cupcaaaaakes," she reminds warningly.

**Anyway...kinda random, but who dosen't like randomness? Where would the world be without randomness? A boring world, that's what!**

**NEXT IS MAPLEPAW46!**

Maplepaw46

It was a normal day in ThunderClan. Well, if normal was that they were all reading BOOKS!  
"NO HARRY POTTER DON'T DIE!" screamed Squirrelflight as she cried as she read "Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows" in the pink warrior's den and Ashfur tried to put his paw on her shoulder, only to get hit with a stick.  
"What the heck!?" he screamed as Brambleclaw came out dressed as Harry Potter, with the wand and lighting scar.  
"Ginny is mine Draco!" he growled as he tackled Ashfur to the ground and started punching him.  
"The warrior code says not to fight and AAHHH!" screamed Hollyleaf as she got hit with a flaming marshmellow.  
"Shut up Hollyleaf, even though I'm your mother, I hate your guts so I gave you to Squirrelflight on April Fool's day." complained Leafpool as she looked up from her new war game.  
"Leafpool, YOU JUST BROKE THE 4TH WALL, WE'RE GOING TO DIE!" yelled Firestar as he threw catnip in the air, trying to give StarClan an offering as a blackhole opened up in the middle of camp.  
"Oh no, I can't find my Hello Kitty doll!" paniced Berrynose as he grabbed his pink suitcase and filled it with his pink and purple cloths.  
"Firestar, won't you help me escape?" asked Sandstorm as the whole clan ran around the clearing and screamed their heads off while shesat on a beach chair.  
"I'LL SAVE YOU CATNIP SCLATURE OF SPOTTEDLEAF!" he shouted as he grabbed a life-sized sclature of Spottedleaf made a catnip from his den.  
"I ALWAYS KNEW THAT YOU DIDN'T LOVE ME!" cried the pale ginger she-cat as she threw their 50th wedding anniversity card in the blackhole.  
"KIT 1987523123456789098765432345 67890987654 WHERE ARE YOU!?" screamed Ferncloud as she head counted her kits.  
"I know what to do, you must say Peeta stinks, Starclan says it's the only way to stop the black hole from sucking up the whole world." yelled Jayfeather as Firestar grabbed his Peeta posters from his room.  
"Well, we had a good run." sighed Firestar as he jumped in the black hole only to be spat out.  
"What the?" meowed Rosekit as she moved away from Ferncloud.  
"You just got pranked, do you have anything to say Firestar?" as Mistystar walked in the camp with a microphone and film crew who turned off the black hole.  
After many minutes of silence Firestar shouted something about Peeta and catnip then passed out.  
"Well, who wants to play chess?" asked Bumblestripe as everyone looked at him.

"ATTACK HIM, HE'S NOT CRAZED!" yelled Leafpool as everyone pounced on him.

**LOL Funeee! Well, next up is SwiftStar1 so give a big hand! *you clap your hands***

**SwiftStar1**

Leafpool slid in the den,Cloudtail's den. "Attenion, Code Red!" She whispered on her walkie talkie. "I need the ninga squad,dog pack,and BloodClan. I have proof now."

"Are you sure its true,sargent? We don't want another false alarm." The reply came back.

"No,send them quick!"

Okay,lets back up. (Three days ago)

...

"Sargent Pool! Come in! I repeat come in Sargent!" The speical walkie talkie started buzzing.

"Sargent Pool reporting sir!" Leafpool mewed from her "Speical" place.

"Sargent,we have gotten reports on this...You are now going to be on the most important mission of your life..." Her commander buzzed.

"Even more important than uncovering Blackstar's collection of Barbie dolls? Or-" She started but was cut off.

"YES! Listen carefully,this walkie talkie will explode within fifteen minutes." Her commander said.

"Yes,I know the drill."

"Good. Now listen closely..."

Her mission was simple: Uncover the fake out,the cat with double lives,or the not a cat at all. The mission was of corse Top Secret,but the choices we're simple: "The most annoying ones".

...pagebreak...

"Why hello, Berrynose! ANYTHING new?" Leafpool asked.

"Errr,I got a thorn in my paw..." He answered for the forth time,uncomfertable.

"Oh REALY! Is there anything speical about the thorn?" She asked.

"Uh...no?" Berrynoes backed away.

"LIAR!"She screamed and pepper sprayed him.

"AHHH! MY EYES,MY BEAUTIFUL EYES!" He screamed.

"YOU REMEMBER NOTHING!" She yelled and poppy seeded him,he passed out.

...pagebreak...

"Commander,its not Berrynose."

"WHAT! THATS OUR BEST GUESS! TRY THE OTHERS!" He yelled,then added. "Don't fail us,Sargent..."

...pagebreak...

Jayfeather was on his phone,Leafpool crept up. "Look Dad...I DON'T CARE SHE'S HOT! SHE'S GONE INSANE!" He yelled,and hung up.

"Hmmm,Nightcloud must of blown her top. Doesn't suprise me. Oh well duty calls." She thought,and crept up behind her son.

"HELLO!" She mewed,causing him to mousebile himself.

"GAHHHH!" He screamed and ran out of camp.

"Oh well,guess it wasn't him." Leafpool thought,and began sorting herbs like nothing happened.

...pagebreak...

"Hello,MOLEPAW!" Leafpool mewed,but Molepaw must of heard what was going on.

"NOOOO STARCLAN! NOT ME! AHHHHHHHHHH!" He yelled and ran of into the forest.

"Huh..." Leafpool mewed and walked off.

...pagebreak...

"Hello CLOUDTAIL!" She mewed comming up from behind him.

"Huh?" He mewed,his purple head phones crammed in his ears.

"I said" Leafpool stuck her paws in his ears,bringing out the headset. "HELLO CLOUDTAIL!" She screeched.

"Oww." He mewed,rubbing his ears.

"Whatcha listenin to,huh?!"She asked,her eyes blazeing.

"Err..NOTHING!" He yelled and ran off.

"Hmmm..." She is all she said,and then checked her "Speical" folder.

...Pagebreak...

Cloudtail jumped into his nest,he had a looong day of being awesome and he was tired.

"CLOUDTAIL,COME-OUT WITH YOUR PAWS UP! WE HAVE THE DEN SUROUNDED!" Some mega-phone voice shouted,he stumbled out,at least half-awake.

"W-what?" He mewed.

"WE KNOW YOUR JUSTIN BEIBER CLOUDTAIL!" It yelled.

"Huh?"

"NINGAS,DOG PACK,BLOODCLAN,ATTACK!" The thing yelled.

"NOOOO!"

...

Cloudtail woke up to see the moon still shining and him perfectly safe in his nest.

"Oh it was just a dream!" He sighed in relief,then he heard something.

Leafpool stood over him. (CLICK,CLICK) ""DIE POTATO!"

"NOOOOOOOOOO!"

...

**Well, anyway, that's it folks! Remember, thanksgiving special coming up! HAPPY NEW YEAR!**

**LOL...**

**~Spotteh**


	20. Chapter 20

**Hey guys!**

**I know…I know…..it's even the holidays and you STILL haven't updated! Well, just for the record, my teachers seems to make it their life mission to bombard us poor, tiny little school children with as much homework as legally possible….and while they watch us helplessly run around, they laugh and laugh and laugh…..and assign more. And more. AND MOOOOORE! UNTIL OUR HEADS EXPLODE! And by then, the year is over and they get to torture another batch of unsuspecting, poor little school children ….while we suffer greater punishment…the next grade!**

**Anyway…..**

**I'M BACK! That's all that matters. And guess what? I have a new story up! It will be up by tomorrow…..stay tuned!**

**Anyway, new chappies will be up for every little story in my inventory in the period of time between today and tomorrow and possibly Monday. So….review! Please!**

**And Spottedfire7 presents….**

**IT'S A WARRIORS THANKSGIVING!**

"Let the feasting…begin!" Firestar yowled, holding up a wineglass full of catmint-flavored (and calorie free!) water. The cats on each side of the LOOOOOOONG table, enough to hold up all of Thunderclan, clinked their glasses together.

And magically, the food appeared on the table!

"HARRY POTTER MOMENT!" Jayfeather cried, holding up his stick and smacking on a pair of glasses and a fake scar (**for you normal people who don't read Harry Potter the food magically appears on the table during feasts) **and, before anybody even realized he had done it, his props were off and everything resumed to normal.

Except for the fact that everyone was dressed as…pilgrims!

The she-cats in the woman clothes with scarves over their heads, the toms in spiffing English 1800 robes, and the kits dressed up as Indians (courtesy of Rosekit) the feast was on!

"AKJFOIASDFJKLSJFKLSDFJKL WE FORGOT TO SAY THE GRACE TO STARCLAN!" Leafpool screamed.

"OMG YOU' RE RIGHT!" Firestar screamed.

"But first….I would like to ask every cat to name one thing they are thankful for."

"ME FIRST!" Firestar screamed, taking a moment to decide on what he wanted to be thankful for.

"I AM THANKFUL FORRRR…..PEEEEETA!" he screamed, taking a large swig from his catmint-flavored water and just in time for a large smack in the head by Sandstorm, spilling water all over his front.

"YOU DON'T LOVE ME! YOU LOVE PEETA! I WILL-"

The cats groaned and started fiddling with their iPods. They had seen it all when it came to Sandstorm, Firestar, and Peeta.

"HEY PUT THOSE AWAY!"

"OOO! OOOO! ME NEXT!" Rosekit squealed, raising her hand, waving it back and forth, her Indian beads swishing in the wind.

"I'm thankful for Turkey, and cell phones, and my surprise dish, and Fallowkit, and Thunderclan, and turkey and cell phones, and Minecraft and smoothies and money and fireworks and catmint and cell phones and turkey and trees and starclan and air and oxygen and water and computers and starcams and face book and hot toms that flirt with me and Gmail and yahoo and Google and Santa and the Easter bunny and-" This speech lasted for hours, herself saying cell phones 990000999 times and saying oxygen and water 67676 times.

Finally, everyone snapped awake as she finished with a final -"and cell phones!"

Leafpool was up.

"I AM THANKFUL FOR MARSHMALLOWS!" she screamed, shoving a whole bag into her mouth and promptly passing out, Brambleclaw screaming, "LEAFPOOL! HOW MANY TIMES DO I HAVE TO TELL YOU THAT WE DON'T EAT THE AMMO! THAT WAS THE LAST BAG I HAD !"

"I am thankful for…" started Purdy, but with a sigh he nodded of, only to be nudged awake by Mousefur.

"Come on, Purdy, what are you thankful for?" she gently asked.

'Oh! Oh, right….I am thankful for…" and BAM just like that he fell asleep again!

"Purdy….."

He snapped awake.

"Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh!" he went on and on like a broken tape record until Mousefur just got plain upset and smacked him upside the head and yowled in his hear, 'PURDY! WHAT. ARE. YOU. THANKFUL. FOR!"

He fell asleep. And woke back up. And fell asleep. And woke back up. And fell asleep. And woke back up.

"Oh, right…what are we talking about again?" he murmured before falling asleep again, this time not getting back up.

Mousefur slapped herself in the face with a paw.

"I'm thankful for apprentices to fish out my ticks, although they are annoying…" she grumbled.

"SO SHE DOES ENJOY OUR COMPANY!" An apprentice yowled.

"I TOLD YOU SO! YOU OWE ME 20 DOLLARS! HA!"

The other apprentice sighed and rolled his eyes as he handed over the dough.

Jayfeather was up.

"I'm thankful for….nothing. I HATE LIFE AND I HATE THE PROPHECY AND I HATE ROCK AND I HATE THE WORLD! I HATE EVERYTHING!" He stormed into his den.

"Not a shocker there…" a random cat whispered to another cat.

"And finally! Clan, what are we thankful for?"

"CELL PHONES!" they hollored, tainted my Rosekit.

"NO! CLAN, WHAT ARE WE THANKFUL FOR?"

"PEETA!"

"YES! BUT NO! CLAN, WHAT ARE WE THANKFUL FOOOR?!"

"CATMINT!"

"Theeeere we go….."

And, just like that, the feast began.

**Sooo… kind of short, but the other chappies for the other books will be a lot longer, I promise.**

**See ya!**

**~spotty**


	21. Chapter 21

Okay. I'm super sorry.

I know it's been like a month since I've updated, but I have 4 good reasons why.

The girls at school have been worse than ever and I am TIRED of it.

Exams are this week, and I've been studying my butt off.

Over Christmas break (which is after exams) I have to go pretty much halfway around the country for the whole time to go to my cousin's wedding, and they don't have wifi or internet connection.

HOMEWORK.

So yeah. It's probably going to be a while before I can get any chapters up.

But, just because I feel guilty, here is a sneak peak of the new Warriors Comedy Christmas special.

"DECK THE HALLS WITH BALLS OF FOLLY FA LA LA LA LA, LA LA LA LA!" Graystripe screeched at the top of his lungs, dressed in the new Berry's Tattletail Nose winter scarf fashion (pink and purple stripes, of course, but he got it at a 10% discount off of Ebay).

Rosekit, breath fogging up the chilly winter air (and wearing a parka; she had had a cold) sneezed rather loudly, and nose turning red, she, even being sickly, had to come up with a comeback, just because she was Rosekit.

"No, you idiot, this is how you sing it!

"DECK THE HALLS WITH GASOLINE FA LA LA LA LA, LA LA LA LA! LIGHT THE MATCH AND WATCH IT GLEAM! FA LA LA LA LA, LA LA LA LA! BURN YOUR SCHOOL DOWN INTO ASHES FA LA LA FA LA LA LA LA LA! NOW YOU KNOW HOW TO PLAY WITH MATCHES FA LA LA LA LA, LA LA LA LA!" she screeched in a loud opera voice.

Firestar, walking by, noticed the way Rosekit was singing her song and randomly came up with another in his head.

"DECK THE HALLS WITH HOLLYLEAF FA LA LA LA LA, LA LA LA LA! LIE TO HER AND WATCH HER SCREAM FA LA LA LA LA, LA LA LA LA! SUICIDAL CAA-AVE TRIAL FA LA LA, FA LA LA, LA LA LA! WE THIIINK SHE'S DEAD BUT SURPRISE! SHE FOUGHT FOR SURVIVAL FA LA LA LA LA, LA LA LA LA!"

"HEY!" Hollyleaf screeched, swiping at his head.

Okay, I hope you enjoyed the sneak peak! And again, super sorry!


	22. Chapter 22

_I can explain!_

_First of all, for the past ten days I have been halfway across the country with no wifi or Internet connection, so I have not been able to update. Second of all, I'm naturally a slow updater. But, most importantly, this is the Christmas Special, so just pretend it's Christmas again. I'll have a new 2013 special next chappie._

_QUIZ TIME!_

_Whoever can guess my favorite warriors charachter gets a cookie!_

_Hint: the cat was sad_

_So! My muse has returned! LET'S GET IT STARTED!_

_Oh, and happy new year (almost)._

"DECK THE HALLS WITH BALLS OF FOLLY FA LA LA LA LA, LA LA LA LA!" Graystripe screeched at the top of his lungs, dressed in the new Berry's Tattletail Nose winter scarf fashion (pink and purple stripes, of course, but he got it at a 10% discount off of Ebay).

Rosekit, breath fogging up the chilly winter air (and wearing a parka; she had had a cold) sneezed rather loudly, and nose turning red, she, even being sickly, had to come up with a comeback, just because she was Rosekit.

"No, you idiot, this is how you sing it!

"DECK THE HALLS WITH GASOLINE FA LA LA LA LA, LA LA LA LA! LIGHT THE MATCH AND WATCH IT GLEAM! FA LA LA LA LA, LA LA LA LA! BURN YOUR SCHOOL DOWN INTO ASHES FA LA LA FA LA LA LA LA LA! NOW YOU KNOW HOW TO PLAY WITH MATCHES FA LA LA LA LA, LA LA LA LA!" she screeched in a loud opera voice.

Firestar, walking by, noticed the way Rosekit was singing her song and randomly came up with another in his head.

"DECK THE HALLS WITH HOLLYLEAF FA LA LA LA LA, LA LA LA LA! LIE TO HER AND WATCH HER SCREAM FA LA LA LA LA, LA LA LA LA! SUICIDAL CAA-AVE TRIAL FA LA LA, FA LA LA, LA LA LA! WE THIIINK SHE'S DEAD BUT SHE FOUGHT FOR SURVIVAL FA LA LA LA LA, LA LA LA LA!"

"HEY!" Hollyleaf screeched, swiping at his head.  
Firestar leaped up to high rock, and, Rosekit's special treat in his hand, proclaimed a magnificent speech.

"WHO TROLLED THE ENTIRE WORLD?," he screamed, pointing at the audience.

"THE MYANS!," the entire clan cried.

"WHAT REALLY HAPPENED?"

"THEY RAN OUT OF ROOM ON THE CALENDAR THAT WAS JUST A BIG ROCK!"

"WHAT DID IT REALLY PREDICT?"

"THE END OF TWINKIES, HOSTESS STOPPED PRODUCING SWEETS!"

"AND WHY DO WE KNOW THIS?"

"BECAUSE THE WORLD DIDN'T END!"

Firestar seemed perplexed.

"NO, BECAUSE WE'RE AWESOME!"

"YEAH!"

The clan threw their half-eaten Twinkies in the air, stuffing in more into their ginormous pie holes. Might as well eat them before...*sniff* *sniff* they're...they're... GONE! *bursts into tears and begins to cry hysterically*

Rosekit, on the other hand, began to gossip loudly to Toadkit, who wanted very badly to edge away veeeery slooooowly, but Rosekit would tear him into pieces if he did, he very well knew that. He could still feel the scars from last time... Picking at his old band aids, shuddering, he turned to listen.

"OMG, like, Toadkit, WE SURVIVED THE APOCOLYPSE!," she screeched in a teenagery voice. The whole clan raised their mp3 players, iPods and catnip-flavored water in the air and hurrahed.

"IT WAS SOOO EPIC!," Toadkit, imagination running wild (oops, is he in Thunderclan? I can't remember...whatever. I like to mix in characters whether they are dead or alive in the story because I want to) as he lied his way through the day.

"THERE WERE, LIKE, ZOMBIES EVERYWHERE AND IT WAS JUST LIKE CALL OF DUTY AND MODERN WARFARE TOO! I EVEN SAW SLENDER AND THE CHAINSAW MASSACRE DUDE AND-"

Rosekit placed a paw on his mouth, giving him a 'shut up' look. He, eyes glassy and tear-coated, bit his tongue. He, of all cats, knew how dangerous Rosekit could be.  
"No, we all know what REALLY happened," she sarcastically commented, drawing out every word as if it were a whole sentence. "Firestar, instead of being the leader of the clan," - she snorted- "cowered behind a rock with his Peeta blanket and journal and shrieked like a little GIRL, praying to the GREAT PEETA SPIRIT - I'm not kidding, that's what he called it, the Great Peeta Spirit- to please spare us, he would even sacrifice someone."

"YOU'RE AS BAD AS LEAFPOOL, SPILLING ALL MY SECRETS!," Firestar blew up, storming out of the scene, muttering under his breath.

"DID SOMEBODY CALL MEEEEE?," A voice called out, wavy and loopy.

The whole clan groaned.

"Sandstorm, I thought you said you got her so lost in the forest that she would never find her way back!," Jayfeather spit, emerging from the medicine cat den.

Sandstorm shrugged. "I THOUGHT I DID!"

Leafpool sprang from the bushes energetically and shook off a pelt full of snow, the cute little cherry red cotton balls on the end of her ear muffs and striped scarf jangling merrily.

"OH, ISN'T IT A WOOOONDERFUL DAY!" she cried, spinning around in circles and attempting to catch snowflakes on her tongue, though miserably failing.

"LEAFPOOL GET LOST!"

"OKAY!"

She bounced back into the forest, spinning in circles, literally getting lost, laughing hysterically the whole way.

Dovewing slapped her paw to her head. "Starclan help us..."

"OKAY, NOW TIME TO SING CHRISTMAS CAROLS!," Firestar said, pulling out his hymnal book and placing studious glasses on the edge of his nose. The whole clan, especially the kits, began to moan and complain, brawl and whine, stinkng up a storm.

"BUT WE DON'T WANT-"

"SING!," Firestar screamed, suddenly going all Adolf Hitler on the whole clan.

Frightened, they began to sing Jingle Bells.

"JINGLE BELLS, JINGLE BELLS, JINGLE ALL THE WAAAAAY!," they at first sang, but, suddenly, a new voice singing a different song piped up, and soon the other cats caught on. This version was MUCH better, they all agreed.

"JINGLE BELLS, PEETA SMELLS, KATNISS RAN AWAY! GALE CRIES, PRIM DIES, TEAM FINNICK ALL THE WAAAAAAAY! JINGLE BELLS, JINGLE BELLS, JINGLE ALL THE WAY! OH WHAT FUN IT IS TO RIDE IN A ONE HORSE O-PEN, ONE HORSE OPEN SLEIGH! HEY!"

The song quickly changed.

"ON THE FIRST DAY OF CHRISTMAS, MY TRUE LOVE GAVE TO ME: A CATNIP FLAVORED DRIIIINK, ON THE SECOND DAY OF CHRISTMAS, MY TRUE LOVE GAVE TO ME, TWO CHEETOS, AND A CATNIP FLAVORED DRINK..." The song continued on, including candy canes, guns, catnip, and the whole song turned into a huge fight about what to say next, claws scratching and hissing all around.

The whole event turned out to be a party. Are you surprised?

I'm not.

_Anyway, I really do hope that you like it! PLEASE COMMENT AND THANKS FOR OVER 200 Reviews! I have almost 10,000 views! OH YEAAAAH BABY! I've also had viewers from many different countries, including India, UK, the US, Australia, the Philippines, and lots more I haven't remembered (yes, if you look, it's there on your account: look hard). So all I want to say is: THANKS! Thank you soo much for making this story what it is now in only 6 months! Who knows what will happen next? And don't forget about the pop quiz!_

_HAPPY NEW YEAR!_

_~Spotteh_


	23. Chapter 23

**Hey! Spotty here. I just want to apologize for not updating in like FOREVER. I have 2 good reasons *cough cough excuses cough cough* that I HAVEN'T been updating.**

**1. My whole neck swelled up a couple of weeks ago and I had to do pretty much 2 weeks of various blood tests. They told me I had either diabetes or mono. It turns out, after many blood tests and sleepless nights, that I had NOTHING. I was like, GREAT, JUST GREAT. So, that scared the heck out of me, and there's two weeks gone from writing.**

**2. Our family has been majorly redoing two rooms in our house, and I've been BUSY. Another week gone from writing.**

**So, yeah, there's the excuses. I'm also a naturally slow updater, but whatever.**

**Without further cheesy excuses, I present to you...WARRIORS COMEDY.**

"Jingle bells, batman smells-"

"FIRESTAR, GET OVE IT! CHRISTMAS ENDED. IT'S THE NEW YEAR!"

Sandstorm faced this troubling problem every year. Firestar didn't know how to...let go. Of Peeta, of Chrismas, of the Hunger Games... once in a while, she even found him sitting lonely in a corner, sobbing quietly, sucking his thumb after reading a love triangle in the Hunger Games. He had trouble with handling it when Katniss even considered Gale a boyfriend. It was emotionally racking when Gale (SPOILER ALERT) said that he loved her in the second book. He didn't however, cry when Prim or Rue died. Sandstorm reckoned he only enjoyed the tragic love triangle that kept Collin's fans drooling page over page. She was indeed right.

"BUT CHRISTMAS NEVER ENDS!," he squeaked, merrily tossing confetti in the air, a Santa Claws hat perched on his head. He began to skip around the camp, pelting confetti at slightly disgruntled cats. Everyone agreed with Sandstorm, of course. Christmas was long gone. But no one bothered telling that to Firestar. They couldn't stand seeing the "great and mighty" leader cry helplessly in a corner one more time. What about when Shadowclan attacks? How will he react then? HUH? HUH?!

Speaking of which...

"ATTACK!"

Shadowclan warriors poured out of the bushes, angry and hateful. Blackstar held a road cone to his mouth, useful when invading a territory. It was cheaper, and amplified his voice; besides, the local Walmart didn't appreciate cats using their Fresh Step Kitty Litter without paying for it.

"PUT YOUR PAWS IN THE AIR! WE HAVE YOU SOURROUNDED YOU HAVE THE RIGHT TO REMAIN SILENT-"

"What is this, an episode of Cops?" Rosekit disgustedly scorned, bored by the bland, robotic, emotionless tones he spoke in.

"ARREST HER!" Blackstar screamed, pointing a random stick he picked off the ground at her. Two Shadowclan warriors whooshed up, and with ninja like speed, tied and gagged her in a matter of seconds. When they departed, Rosekit was flopping like a fish on the ground, completely tied up and eyes silently pleading.

Firestar stood proud, former joy gone. "WHY HAVE YOU INVADED US, SHADOWCLAN?"

Blackstar grinned. "Not Shadowclan."

Firestar gazed at him, confused. "What do you mean, not Shadowclan? What else would you be, Scourgeclan? Evilclan?"

"Gayclan?" a random cat called out.

Blackstar scowled. "No. We're SEXYclan."

The whole clan started to sing, "I'm bringing Sexy back."

"NO GURL. JUST. NO." a voice called out from the bushed. Leafpool dramatically stepped out from the bushes, and, seizing her chance, randomly made up a chant on the spot, which seemed to be her talent.

"GURL DON'T MAKE ME SNAP MAH FINGERS IN A Z-FOR-MA-TION, HIP-RO-TAT-ION, ELBOW ELBOW WRIST WRIST, OMG U JUST GOT DISSED!" she screamed, doing all the hand motions available.

"NOW who's gay clan?" Blackstar haughtily hissed, guffawing loudly with all his cronies- ahem, I mean clan.

Leafpool rolled her eyes. "I'm a girl. That's not gay.. I'm SO much smarter than you!"

"BUT...my grammar is GOODER!" Blackstar screamed like a little girl, clearly upset.

"Leafpool, what are you doing here?" Firestar hissed. "I thought you got lost!"

"YEAH, about that... I found a Hobo who said he found ANOTHER hobo who said he saw Slender, and told me to go in THAT direction well I didn't even know the Slender even WAS so I followed his point and WHOO I GOT OUTTA THERE FAST GURL and how does he walk with that mask on his face why isn't he running into trees and stuff like Jayfeather and I BARELY escaped and then I found another empty burger king cup and I knew that Firestar had to be nearby because I also found some Peeta posters and a People magazine so then I followed a trail of breadcrumbs and there was a house made of CANDY FIRESTAR CANDY but there was this evil WITCH and she wanted to bake me ALIVE-"

"No no no. I don't think I want to know anymore," Firestar sighed, holding up a paw to silence her.

"Anyway, I've got more important matters to attend to."

He turned back to Blackstar.

"My question still speaks. Why are you here?"

"You stole our party poppers!" Blackstar complained like a two year old.

The clan suddenly remembered the confetti he was throwing earlier. Firestar goofily grinned and crossed his eyes.

"OH, OHkay, I thought it was because I stole your DIARY! I heard a CERTAIN SOMEBODY likes another she-cat..." he cheesily meowed, wiggling his eyebrows.

Up above, the Starclan cats watching the Starcams live on their ultra-plush couch burst out laughing and, shoving more popcorn into their mouths, cheered for more.

"OH NO YOU DIDN'T!" Blackstar screeched squaring his shoulders.

"OH A-YES I A-DID!" Firestar crowed, throwing a frilly, pink notebook in the air.

"COME HERE YOU LITTLE-" Blackstar screeched, diving for Firestar's neck while the clan cats had created a circle, pouring over Blackstar's diary.

As Blackstar's claws approached his neck, Firestar touched his head, around his heart, and two shoulders like a Catholic nun.

"GREAT PEETA SPIRIT, PROTECT ME NOW!" he screamed at the top of his lungs, flinging his paws open.

Blackstar , in midair, suddenly stopped short in his flight, stopped practically an inch in front of Firestar's face as if he hit a brick wall, and went rebounding off into a nearby bush like he was hurtling off a trampoline sideways.

"IT LIVES!" Firestar screeched.

Blackstar stormed from his place in the bushes.

"I, LEAFPOOL, HEREBY CHALLENGE YOU, BLACKSTAR, TO A DANCE-OFF!" Leafpool suddenly screamed.

Blackstar whipped his head around.

"For what?"

"The looser will have to supply the winner's clan with half of their fresh kill for a whole moon."

Blackstar grinned.

"IT'S OOOON!"

"Firestar, hit the lights, Karaoke style!"

Disco lights suddenly flashed on, and a stage raised up from the floor.

"Blackstar, you first." Leafpool offered, privately thinking that she wanted to know what she was up against.

The song Levitate by Hadouken began to play. (**By the way, you should check that song out.**)

Blackstar began to dance, doing boring moves like Milk the Cow and the lawn mower, But, suddenly, he began to do insane moves, twirling like a ballerina on 12 pounds of Chocolate cake. After half the song, he stopped, and grinning at Leafpool, exited the stage, motioning for her to go up.

She slunk up and wailed upstage, "I CAN'T DO THIS!"

The clans gasped, and even the song began to dim.

"...BECAUSE IT WOULD BE TOO EASY!" she screeched, and, while the music started to pick up again, she burst into sound, flying colors, and total awesomeness. She began to sweep through moves like a godess, performing the moonwalk , the worm, and other total awesome moves. When the music ended, she epically literally levitated in the air for a few seconds before returning to earth.

Silence reigned for a minute.

"Okay, I think we know who the winner is..." Squirrelflight spoke up.

"Bla-Leafpool!"

Up above, the cats in Starclan cheered and threw popcorn in the air.

Blackstar, stick still in his hand, sighed and hung his head. Jayfeather's head suddenly whipped around, and, his eyes on the stick, screamed, "OH NO DON'T YOU DARE! THAT'S MY SICK, YOU HEAR, MY STICK!"

"But you're bli-" Blackstar's meow was blocked out as he was tackled.

"I'm not as blind as you think!"

The whole clan nodded. They definitely knew that by now.

**Thanks for reading! Review please! **

**~Spotteh**


	24. Chapter 24 Valentine's Day Special

**HEY EVERYBODY! I know it's the day AFTER Valentine's day, but yesterday I had school l not to mention three hours of gymnastics and after gymnastics there was homework... (my teacher: "Here, you can read pages 1-8503298509325803298 tonight and we'll have an hour-long quiz tomorrow!) so yeah. And also we've been busy...**

**Enough of the excuses. I present to you...**

**A VALENTINE'S DAY SPECIAL!**

**But before we jump into that, here's a quick Prologue... **

_ Prologue_

_ The stars drifted over the calm, moonless sky, as the clouds blankly covered the horizon. A certain cat gazed up at the heavenly figure, a mass collection of everything beautiful and pretty, yet there was a sense of sadness to it, too; as if the stars were mourning some great loss. The cat sniffed. The smell of prey wafted over her nose; but wait, it was Leafbare...there wasn't much prey like there was in Greenleaf._

_ Then the cat realized something very important..._

_ "OH MAH STAHCLAN I'M DREAMING IN STARCLAN!" Leafpool screamed hysterically, turning about in circles._

_ A cat appeared out of the mist that surrounded the delirious Leafpool, a beautiful cat with stars in her fur and a light, slightly tainted blue coat. The cat quietly crept on the backside of the cat, as if stalking prey. Right as Leafpool whipped around, the cat leapt in the air and screamed at the top of its lungs, "BOO!"_

_ " AHHHHH MAH STARCLAN, BLUESTAR!" Leafpool freaked, playfully swatting the former leader with her paw, "what do you want now?"_

_ Bluestar eyed her distrustfully._

_ "You ARE aware that tomorrow is the beloved Valentine's Day?" Bluestar questioned Leafpool._

_ Leafpool's head bobbed up and down._

_ "Well, Leafpool, I am going to give you a special power... a power that will last until sunrise and sundown tomorrow..."_

_ "Yes?" Leafool asked, quiet for ONCE in her life. Her tail quivered in excitement._

_ "Well, I give you these love-poisoned marshmallows" she said, the 25 marshmallows popping out of thin air and gracefully resting just in front of Leafpool's paws in a straight line. "Whoever you shoot the marshmallows at will immediately fall in love with whatever they see next... for the next 24 hours, anyway... I also grant you the power to fly, and behold, I give you this..."_

_ And with one great swoop, the starry cat conjured a diaper out of thin air, and attached to it flapping wings. The diaper was suspended in the air, held up only by the wings. This was her way of flying, Leafpool guessed. _

_ "COOL!" Leafpool exclaimed, grabbing the marshmallows and jumping into the diapers. Suspending into the air, she dared ask ,"Hey, Bluestar, why are you doing this?"_

_ Bluestar turned her back on Leafpool._

_ "Let's just say it was a dare..." She muttered to herself._

_ Leafpool grinned, gave her a paws up sign, (thumbs up, but cats don't have thumbs) and disappeared, coming to reality, giggling madly._

_ Bluestar watched her go, dread pulling down her fur._

_ "Oh, Starclan, why, Tallstar, WHY did you have to make that dare?" She wailed, fleeing into the mist once more._

_END OF PROLOGUE_

BEGINNING OF WARRIORS COMEDY VALENTINE'S DAY SPECIAL

With a start, Leafpool awoke.

She vaguely remembered an odd dream, something about Valentine's Day and marshmallows... and diaper...

Then she remembered. Well, she was kind of forced to, seeing that she was suspended about two inches in the air, wearing diapers, and clutching 25 pink-covered marshmallows that smelled REALLY good.

"YAHOO!"

She grabbed her MARSH-O-SHOOTER 2000 (the new prototype) and shoved the 25 marshmallows in the ammo shoot. Cocking her gun with a sharp 'click CLICK' she whistled and whispered to herself, "Let's go have some fun MATCHMAKING!"

She flew straight up, not thinking that there was something called, um, yeah, a CEILING, and whacked her head straight on the thing and went tumbling to the floor. She clambered up, rubbing her head wearily. Yesh, this was going to take some work...and time.

Effortlessly, she flew out of the den, basking in the sunlight. The cats in the sunlight incredulously gazed at her, faces priceless.

"Um, Leafpool..." Lionblaze pointed out, "I think that you are out of kithood. You don't need those diapers anymore."

Leafpool snorted, and aimed and with a magical, fluffy "POOF!' a marshmallow came shooting out, sparkly clouds of pink spilling out of the marshmallow gun.

The marshmallow hit him straight between the eyes, disappearing right as it hit him in a sparkly mess, and his eyes turned to hearts, literally. The first thing he saw was a nearby bush, and he leapt into it, meowing madly, playing away.

The cats stood silently, waiting for someone to make a move.

The cats in Starclan waited, popcorn frozen in mouths, watching eagerly on the T.V., wondering what the Starcams would bring them next.

And for a moment the whole world seemed to be silent, waiting for what move either Leafpool or the cats would do.

Rosekit was the one who broke the silence.

"RUN!"

And the cats did.

Leafpool, an expert shooter by now, dealed out 3 more marshmallows in one shoot. One hit Firestar, who was eyeing a Peeta poster taped on the front of his den, and as it hit his back he leapt towards the poster, tearing it down and purring.

"What a waste," Leafpool scorned, "That wasn't even worth it. That love was already there."

The next one hit Purdy, who spied a blackbird flying out of a tree.

"HEEEEEERE BIRDY BIRDY BIRDY!' he screeched, teetering towards it at an elderly old age. The bird, distraught, flew away, chirping in fear.

"NO, MY LOVE, COME BACK, COME BACK!" Purdy screamed, scampering into the forest as fast as his old legs could carry him.

The third one hit Dovewing, who was looking at a badger about to attack the camp. As the marshmallow hit her, she gave a great cry and jumped on its back.

"OOOOH, YOU PRECIOUS THING...YOU'RE SO HAIRY AND BEAUTIFUL..." She purred, writhing around on its back. The badger turned tail and was shaking wildly, trying to get her off. She, of course, mistook it.

"Oh, you want to dance? I can dance, that's for sure! Do you want to see my moves?"

She jumped off its back and began to do the worm.

The badger, utterly confuzzled, began to run away, but Dovewing pelted after it, screeching, "WHERE'S MY RING? YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO GIVE ME A RING!"

Leafpool sniggered. Turning to blind Jayfeather, who had no idea what was going on, she shot it at him without thinking. As it collided with his fur, he simply stood there, then whipped around.

"Was that an APPLE? WHO THREW AN APPLE AT ME? I CAN FIGHT, I CAN FIGHT!" he screamed, immediately balling his paws into fists and jumping around like a champion boxer on his hind legs.

Leafpool sighed, finally getting it. Since he couldn't see anything, he couldn't fall in love with anything...

She flew into the forest, counting her marshmallows mentally. She had 20 more. Plenty to make more chaos.

She spied Rosekit, creeping around a bush, wry of her surroundings.

"Oh, I see you, little creep," she whispered, and with no further words, she shot a gauzy pink marshmallow at her.

Immediately spying moss, Rosekit jumped on it, shredding it up, squeaking with happiness.

Leafpool went in search of her last prey for the day.

Spying Bumblestripe, she flew overhead, enjoying the whistle of the wind in her ears. Is this what it was like to be a bird? Pondering the question, she took aim and fired from a nearby tree. Just as it made contact with him, he was standing right in front of a tree. He ran into it, flopping on the ground, just as you would if you ran full-force into a tree. He got back up with equal spirit and screeched, "COME AT ME BABY!" and commenced slamming his body in front of a lifeless tree.

Leafpool flew back into the deserted camp, suddenly growing bored with the marshmallows. Without thinking she opened the gun, took a marshmallow out of the ammo shoot, and shoved it into her mouth. It tasted like pancakes, butter gumdrops, and sugary sweet stuff...and suddenly she spied a squirrel.

"SQUIRREL!" she screamed, and shot after it.

The diaper and marshmallows disappeared. For another day, for another cat, I guess. And hopefully it will be put in better hands- wait, no, paws- than Leafpool's.

**So, did you like it? Comment, review, whatever it's called...and the answer to my last little poll of what is my favorite warriors book(which no one won, by the way) is...ECLIPSE!**

**Goodbye, and happy late Valentine's day!**

**~Spotteh**


	25. Chapter 25

Hey guys!

Yeah, just a quick update. First of all...THANK YOU FOR OVER 12000 VEIWS! I LOVE U GUYS SOO MUCH AND THANK YOU FOR MAKING ME WHERE I AM! I was reading chapter 1 the other day, and I was like, "Wow! This is HORRIBLE!" So thanks for staying with me even though I had a rough start.

Aaaaand, now, announcements:

1. My next chappie will be Warriors go to Walmart! and it will have 2 parts. Then, after that, it will be the Warriors Comedy Finalie, The Warriors Apocolypse, and then, the book will end. Boo. But there will be a sequel! So be sure to check that out when it starts.

2. Check out me and my friends AWESOME book, Warriors Middle School! It's suuuper good and please check it out! It's on her account Maplepaw46 so please check that out!

and 3. CONTEST TIME! Another writing thing. Write down your idea for the Warriors Apocolypse. The best 2 will be presented and used in the final plot! Yay! PM it or post a review (preferably review) and I will tell u who wins!

Thanks a lot!

~Spotty


	26. Chapter 26

_Hey guys! _

_Sorry it's been awhile, but I have 2 reasons:_

_1. I have had sooo many gymnastics meets, not to mention gymnastics practice 3 days a week for 3 hours each practice, so after homework, I don't have much to write besides the weekends._

_2. Last week, I was going to update, but my dad passed out and we had to take him to the hospital. So...yeah._

_But, never fear, Spotty is here! And now, welcome to Warriors at Wal-Mart, part one!_

"Oooh, what does this do?"

"NO ROSEKIT, NOT THE POTTED-"

_CRASH!_

_ "_Whoa, lookit!"

"Rosekit, no-"

_SMASH!_

Poppyfrost bounded to Firestar in a tizzy.

"Firestar, this is too much! The kits can't handle Wal-mart!"

"Nonsense, Poppyfrost! This is the vacation we've been DREAMING of!" Firestar scorned, gazing up at the majesty that was the blue Wal-mart sign.

A week ago, Firestar had suggested that they take a field trip to Wal-mart.

"It will be fun for the kits," he convinced the clan, "The elders will feel young again!"

So, the clan had taken the bus (the driver didn't seem to happy about this) and were now at the face of Wal-mart. They had just arrived, and already Rosekit was destroying things.

Surprise, surprise.

Firestar motioned with his tail for the entire clan to gather behind him.

"On three. One.."

"Firestar, you can't do this!" Poppyfrost shrieked.

"Two..."

All of the sudden, a furry streak barreled towards the doors, screaming, "THREEEE!" Naturally, it as Lionblaze. As he approached the doors, he stopped and scrunched up his face, staring incompetently at the doors. "How will these mighty twoleg structures open?"

He strolled casually onto the black mat, and the automatic doors slid open. He jumped a million miles up in the air as the clan flowed through the doors like water, ending up landing on Jayfeather's head.

"What kind of Starclan's cursed magic IS this?" he screeched, half in surprise and half in pain as Jayfeather hissed and punched him in the gut.

"THINGS MOVING BY THEMSELVES? TWOLEG STRUCTURES? THE WORLD IS ENDING!" he screamed, throwing himself on the ground, sobbing.

"It's called the rise of society! Get in the program, Lionblaze!" Rosekit said, kicking him in the head, running inside herself, tripping over a fake potted plant she overturned.

...

"Wow," two voices chorused.

The aisle was filled with so much grace, and majesty, and good smells...it was heaven, heaven! Even Starclan couldn't have, no, just COULDN'T have such wonders as what was stocked in this aisle.

Firestar and Graystripe stared in wonder, thinking about how much glory can be put into two single words...

Candy Aisle.

Firestar screamed in joy, grabbed a box of Nerds, and began chugging it down, thinking that even catmint couldn't be this delicious. Graystripe, on the other hand, couldn't have had worse luck. Grabbing a random box, he stuffed all of its contents into his overly large mouth. What he didn't know was that that box was full of extra-sour Warheads.

"UMM...AHHHH...AGH!" He screamed, running around in circles, mouth watering and smoking wildly. He ran out of the aisle in fear, leaving a river behind him.

Firestar, on the other hand, couldn't stop. Many candy lost their lives that day... nerds, gobstopers, hershey's chocolate...

All of the sudden he gave a unusually large belch on the south side, IF you know what I mean...

"Uh oh! Where's the lady's room? FRESH STEP KITTY LITTTER, I NEED YOU NOW!" he cried, racing towards the pet's section.

When he reached his destination, the sight was not pretty.

The Elders had overtaken the Pet's aisle. Mousefur was pouncing on a catnip mouse, screaming in delight, biting down on it, saying, "I feel young again! Young again!" Purdy had somehow opened a pack of catnip and was devouring its contents, about to go on sugar/catmint high, he was sure.

Bumblestripe, Daisy, and Berrynose also resided in this space, Bumblestripe meowing in laughter after somehow retrieving a lazer pointer and pointing it all over the place, Berrynose skidding into walls and knocking down various boxes of items trying to follow the red beam. Daisy was quietly licking and petting a small mouse toy with her tail, whispering to it as if it were her kit. Firestar wondered if she was going insane.

Luckily for him, the boxes of Fresh Step were already open dotted with lumps of...never mind. He skidded towards it, sighing as it flowed out onto the kitty litter.

Yes, ladies and gents, toms and she-cats. It _flowed. _And it wasn't yellow, either...

When he had finished, he made his way towards Daisy with her mouse toy. She glared up at him, wrapping her tail around the toy protectively. Firestar laid his tail on the mouse's back, but Daisy, quick as a flash, lashed out at him with an unsheathed paw, screeching, "MY PREEEEECIOUS!" Firestar barely dodged the blow, but before he could blink, Daisy was gone.

Yep, definitely going cray-cray...

He barely escaped the wrath of Berrynose, who was following the red dot. Purdy had reached catmint crazy prime, rings around his eyes, jumping off of high objects and somehow pulling off backflips while he was at it. All of the sudden, a force with the speed of a train crashed into his side, sending him sprawling straight into the kitty litter and the disgusting lumps of...never mind.

...

"NO WAAAAAY!"

"COOOL!"

Yes, you guessed it. The kits had made it into the Lego aisle.

Lillykit, Seedkit, Molekit, Cherrykit, Frogkit, and Rosekit (all from the last book besides Rosekit and Frogkit) all gasped in wonder.

"THIS IS EVEN BETTER THAN DISNEY WORLD!" cried Lillykit, trying to catch her tail. Frogkit, with his fake lightsaber, crashed into the Lego Star Wars aisle, ripping open boxes and already assembling the little pieces. Molekit stepped gingerly on a rather large Lego piece and began to burst into tears. Cherrykit had invaded the Avengers Legos, playing with the little Lego characters.

"WHOOOOSH! I'M THOR! ZOOOOM! I'M LOKI! CRASH! BOOM, BANG!" she squealed, bashing the characters together in her own little sound fx battle.

Rosekit, however, had another idea. She somehow stepped over the fallen Legos, tiptoed her way past Frogkit, and landed in the next aisle...

With the EasyBake oven.

"Oh, surprise dish, here I come"...she whispered, rubbing her paws together. She bounded off to collect her ingredients.

On the way to catmint, she passed by the electronics section, where she saw Dovewing and Ivypool trying out a Wii Sports Resort game.

"NO!" Dovewing screeched, banging her controller against the ground in anger. Ivypool had won in arching once again.

"Oh yeah! Holla! Shake yo bootey! IN YO FACE!" Ivypool bragged, waving her butt in Dovewing's face.

Rosekit shook her head and headed towards the catmint aisle, barely able to dodge Berrynose as he went after the laser pointer. Making it quick, she grabbed some catmint, then noticed Firestar covered in...never mind. The point was that he was looking shocked.

"Firestar? What's wrong?" she squeaked, blinking quietly.

Firestar gazed up at her, staring widely. "Where's Leafpool?"

A sound that sounded like a sonic boom echoed from all the way across Walmart.

"Uh oh, " the two said in unison. They, Rosekit ditching the catmint, raced towards the other end of Walmart.

**Oh, leafpool...what are you up to now? Comment!**

**~Spotty**


	27. Chapter 27

**Hey guys! So, first some shout-outs... please check out my friend Spiralsky28, she's an AWESOME writer, and she drew my cover picture (which you have to admit is totally cool) so please check her out! And also check out my AMAZING friend Maplepaw46, I LOVE her stories, and I'm sure you will too! And also, for those of you who don't read the bold, SHAME ON YOU! Lol, just kidding, but really, sometimes there can be important info in there, like, I might not but The Eternal Storm up for adoption... so yeah. I'm still thinking about it. If you would like, you can post your opinion, I also listen to those. And suggestions. I love suggestions. But anyway, here's the next chapter of Warriors at Walmart section!**

_*remember that they're running to see what Leafpool's up too*_

A smell like gunfire and burning avid filled Firestar's lungs. He coughed violently, still running on the slick, tile floor. Unfortunately, claws and tile don't fit together hand in hand, and Rosekit went sliding, slamming into walls and random aisles as a rain of random shopping items flew down.

"Rosekit, no! Leafpool could be killing innocent twolegs right now!" Firestar screamed, as a mini-atomic explosion rocked into the air, throwing hot flames and ashes into the air. Another slip, another crash. "NO! NOT THE LEGOS, NOT THE-" Rosekit screamed.

CRASH!

Boxes of legos rained down on Rosekit, showering her with little bits of sharp evils. "Rosekit, no!" Firestar yowled as a little white flag stuck up from the pile of killing machines. Suddenly, the pile of legos exploded, Rosekit in her tighty-whities and a ragged cape on her back, hand gloves and a white mask to go with it in the middle of the explosion.

"NEVER TO FEAR, SUUUUPER KIT IS HERE!" she grandly announced, squeaking. She whipped her tail back and forth, and suddenly it went around so fast that her tail was a blur, and she rose into the air, her tail creating a helicopter effect. Firestar watched in wonder as she flew over into the movies and games section, shaking his head. His eyes skimmed over the lego box that fell on her, seeing the Avengers logo on it. He suddenly understood.

"Oh, great Starclan, why would you give her super powers?" he moaned, face palming -ahem, pawing- very hard, leaving a paw print on his face.

Up above, Starclan shrieked with laughter, throwing popcorn at the Starcam screen. "APRIL FOOLS, SUCKERZ!" Bluestar howled, stuffing herself with more catmint. "It was on her Christmas list, anyway..."

Firestar gritted his teeth and moved on towards the crime scene.

What he didn't expect was a fully fledged, upscale war in the movies and games section.

Leafpool, dressed as Loki (well, it _was _the games and movies section) held her marshmallow gun in the air, cackling as it turned into a cat-sized trident with electricity flowing through it. Rosekit was flying through the air, her tail a smudge, chucking legos at Loki - ahem, _Leafpool_- but some weird force-field was around her, as all the legos flashes blue and bounced out of the air harmlessly. Firestar finally realized what Leafpool was holding on to so dearly... _it was the Tesseract._

"Leafpool, give me the tesseract!" Rosekit testily told her, flying even higher.

"I HAVE AN ARMY!" Leafpool bellowed, sending volts of electricity towards Rosekit who easily dodged them.

"We have a hulk." Rosekit simply stated.

A roar echoed all throughout Walmart, chilling Firestar's blood.

"Oh no," Firestar muttered, ducking in a nearby empty box that had once contained a TV, but the TV was mysteriously smashed lying in a corner, from Leafpool and Rosekit's right, no doubt.

Lionblaze, who was blown up to over ten times his size, marched towards Leafpool, whose ears flattened. Crushing aisles in his wake, Lionblaze emitted another ear-crushing howl and bared his teeth at Leafpool. White as a sheet, Leafpool began stuttering random words and slowly backing away. She attempted to shoot a lightning beam at Lionblaze, but it rebounded right off of the massive Lionblaze and instead shattered a light. All of the power in Walmart flickered and went out. Caterwauls echoed throughout Walmart, some meaning something, some not. Lots of them were from the Elders and Berrynose, who was still attempting to catch the laser pointer that Purdy was shining. He seemed to be addicted.

"What was that?" Mousefur screeched.

"MY EYES! I CAN'T SEE!" Dovewing somewhere off in the store howled.

"Welcome to my world..." Jayfeather muttered.

"NO, NOT THE RED DOT! PURDY, TURN OFF THE RED-" CRASH!

"Berrynose, look what you did now!" Mousefur screamed angrily.

"MUST. CATCH. THE LIGHT!" Berrynose could be heard.

"Never mind, turn on the light, he'll have a heart attack if you don't, Purdy..." Mousefur commented heavily.

"Not if he's having a seizure..."

" OMGLAWJE GOI;JAWL! TURN ON THE LIGHT, HE'LL DIE, HE'S ADDICTED!" Mousefur screamed.

"Okay, okay..." Purdy drawled.

"MUST CATCH THE LIGHT!"

Then, Lionblaze grabbed Leafpool's tail in the dark and started to wham her from side to side by her tail.

"Ouch! Ow! No, stop, stupid!" Leafpool cried, flailing about her limbs at random as she was smashed.

Then, all in one bout, Rosekit fell from the air and lost the costume, Lionblaze shrinked down to his normal size, Leafpool lost the Loki get up, Firestar stepped out from the box, and the lights turned back on.

For a moment, the four stood in silence. Then Firestar bared his teeth and spoke.

"We are never watching the Avengers. Ever. Again."

Rosekit turned to the screen and blinked. "I have my superpowers. I can do whatever I want."

Suddenly, the forgotten Tesseract exploded into the black hole.

"ROSEKIT, STUPID! YOU BROKE THE FOURTH WALL!" Firestar screamed, holding on to an aisle to keep from being sucked in. Rosekit didn't seem to mind. "Hi, Spottedfire7! Ooh, you have one of our names! What does "7" mean..?"

The black hole opened wider.

"Okay guys, I know exactly how to fix this! Lionblaze, you must say whatever I tell you to say, no matter what!" Leafpool screeched.

Lionblaze nodded dutifully, his fur being whipped back in forth from the power of the black hole. "Okay."  
"Say, ice bank mice elf."

"I spank myself...HEY!" he screeched, smacking her. The black hole opened even wider. "Leafpool, that did absolutely nothing!"

"I know," she grinned.

"Okay, okay, I _will_ put a stop to this!" Firestar screeched. He seemed to hug himself, then flung opened his arms.

"GREAT PEETA SPIRIT, SAVE US NOW!"

And the Great Peeta Spirit did.

The black hole closed with a dramatic pop, the fourth wall was the fourth wall again, and Firestar was lifted into the air with the power of the Great Peeta Spirit.

"_Faithful follower, I bless you!_" a voice whispered. Then, he gracefully hovered above the ground and was dropped on all four paws.

The rest of them stared, mouths open.

He shrugged.

"Hey, I don't like Peeta for nothing!"

**REVIEEEW! THE BUTTON IS LONELY! And also check out those people pleeeease! And any suggestions and opinions about The Eternal Storm are welcome!**

** ~Spotty**


	28. Chapter 28

COOOONTEEEEEST!

Okie Dokie! Leafpool INSISTED that we have a contest, and fired marshmallows at me until I begged for mercy. So yeah. First, I have an announcement; I might not give up The Eternal Storm, I'm thinking about postponing it until the summer, so that I have time to write it. It's not that I don't like writing it, it's that I don't have tiiiime... and also please check out my harry potter story! I don't care if you don't like harry potter, just please check it out! lol... well anyway, here's the contest.

You have to write the next chapter of Warriors Comedy, which is Warriors at Walmart part three. You can either post it in the comments, PM me it, or write a story on your profile that I can copy or paste. I would rather you PM it to me or post it as a story because it must meet these three requirements:

1. It must be at least 800 words

2. There must be no foul language

and 3. If you write it as a story, you have to contact me in some way or form, whether it be by PM or comment, that the story is there. The deadline is April 15th. So... yeah! Have fun! (OUCH LEAFPOOL! YES THEY'RE WRITING IT! NOW LEAVE ME ALONE!)

~Spotteh


	29. Chapter 29 contest winner

**So yeah, surprisingly, the person who won the contest wasn't on FanFiction. She's a friend of mine outside of FanFiction and even school. I'm not going to say her name, cause you know, stalkers, but anyway, here's the winner (even though it's kind of short).**

WARRIORS AT WALMART LAST CHAPTER

So, naturally, after the fourth wall was broken, the Warrior cats knew all about us. Yes, even you. *points at whoever is reading this*

For that split second that Rosekit broke the fourth wall, she knew about me, Spottedfire7, Maplepaw46, all of us...and she knew who we really were. But the creepy thing is, she somehow knew that she was in a story, and let me tell you, she did not keep it to yourself. For example, she minded telling Firestar that I was thinking about Leafpool leaking some more secrets about him (like the fact that Firestar has written over 2,000 fan letters to Josh Hutcherson) and that made him very upset, so he refused to be in this chapter (sorry).

And, along with these secrets that she's not supposed to know, she also knew my plans for the next three chapters, which I have already told you, is the Warriors Comedy Finale, the Apocalypse. She knew the ways that I had crafted specifically for them to be terrified, thinking that the whole world was falling down. But she had not known that I had planned a sequel. And again she did not keep it to herself.

"WE'RE ALL GOING TO DIIIIIIE!" She ran around Walmart shrieking, her newfound powers going cray cray. Bolts of lightning and blasts of red power shot from her palms like she was freaking Iron Man or something.

Of course, Firestar wasn't here to calm her down, so Leafpool instead came to the rescue, though she made it a lot worse.

"Rosekit! Rosekit, what's wrong?" Leafpool frowned, grabbing her tail and smacking her whole body down before her.

"We-We're all going to die! Spottedfire7 said so!" Rosekit squealed, eyes wild. Leafpool rolled her eyes. "Rosekit, cut it. I forced her to do this contest anyway. Why would she kill us? Why would she stop writing?"

"Well...maybe she doesn't have enough time, with school and stuff," Rosekit whined, picking herself off of the ground.

Leafpool gazed at her oddly. "What is this, "skool" you speak of?" she suspiciously asked. Rosekit rolled her eyes in an imitation of Leafpool, flapping her paw dismissively. "You wouldn't understand. I'M the one who broke the fourth wall."

"Well, at least we still have Erin Hunter," Leafpool shrugged, busting open a box of dry ice cream and beginning to eat it, then a revolting look came upon her face and she turned around and spit it out, shrieking, "EW! THIS IS NOT ICE CREAM!"

"Well, at least Spottedfire7 knows how to count, Firestar died WAY more than nine times," Rosekit muttered, shaking her head.

"Berrynose, you need to get over it. The red dot isn't coming back," Purdy walked by, Berrynose scratching at his fur.

"MUST. HAVE. THE DOT!" Berrynose screeched, devouring a piece of dry ice cream whole.

The kits were still among the legos, screeching and trying to brave it out, though the only person who could walk through legos without socks on is Chuck Norris, and it would even be hard for him. And Walmart was a mess! Random legos and catnip-affected cats were strewn about the ground. Freeze dry ice cream (like the astronauts eat) was also among the mess. The roof was blown off of the children section, and strange sirens were echoing in the background.

"What are those?" many cats echoed.

Rosekit's eyes opened. "I know the ways of the twolegs! I have seen the fourth wall, and I know that those are police coming to catch us and to kill us!'

The cats gasped collectively, and one of them cried, "Rosekit show us the way!"

The cats encircled Rosekit and began chanting her name as she rose into the air with her paws raised. "MY EYES HAVE BEEN OPENED!" a cat cried. "ROSEKIT IS THE PROPHET OF THE TWOLEGS, AND OF STARCLAN!"

For a magical moment, Starclan's blessing was upon Rosekit, and she was encased in a glowing halo of feathers and gold. Then, the moment ended, and she as was dumped on the ground unceremoniously as Starclan's blessing ended suddenly.

"BACK TO THE CLAAAAN!" she screamed, a staff magically appearing in her hand (hey, she DID have superpowers). But just as they were about to go through the self-opening doors that Lionblaze hated with a vengeance, the animal authorities were suddenly there. Six cars screeched into view, and many twolegs with nets and gasses proceeded forward.

"COPPERS!" Rosekit screeched, and just as they were about to get the entire clan, nets just above their heads, the slammed her staff down on the ground and screamed, "YOU. SHALL. NOT. PASS!"

Waves of energy streamed from her staff, and animal control was knocked off of their feet. Surprisingly, she weather changed as well, and a tornado tapped from the sky. Hail rained down on them, and the wind buffeted their fur as they charged toward home, and the apocalypse that was waiting for them.

**A great intro into the apocalypse, and much more FUNNY stuff to come! I have many more ideas!**

**~Spotty**


	30. Chapter 30

WARRIORS COMEDY APOCALYPSE PART ONE

Rain still falling below, the cats ran with all their might towards their homes. Each of them scurried with a vengeance, their eyes determined. Their eyes were squinted against the rain and the hail poured down from above. Going along quicker with the weather on their heels, they reached the clans in no time.

And what they came to was a full-scale war.

Cats lay stunned in masses, the lightning lighting up their gruesome faces. Most of their eyes were still wild, and they were very much still alive but...why wouldn't they move? Suddenly, Firestar appeared in a flash of light, his hand grasping a stick and his eyes wild.

"Dear Starclan, why would they do this? Rosekit, your stupid fourth wall breaking leaked some of the twoleg stuff into our world!"

Rosekit descended from down below, her eyes quizzical.

"What do you mean, Firestar?"

"I mean that their world has merged with ours, and whatever is happening in their world can join with ours and make chaos! But since we're technically not real, which is really weird to say, anything can happen. And what's leaked in for now is Harry Potter!"

Then Rosekit realized why there was a stick wedged into her paw, and every other cat's hand in the clearing. And why they were all fighting.

Suddenly, Blackstar evaporated out of nowhere with a large crack. He was dressed in night-black robes, and a grim smile was etched on his face. The lightning struck again, making it even more gruesome. But something seemed different...

"Holy Starclan, Blackstar, where's your _nose?_" Rosekit squealed, poking his nostril slits with her wand. He bared his teeth at her.

"Stupid kit! I am Voldekat, the cat destined to destroy the clans! AVADA KADAVRA!" He screamed, pointing his wand at her. It simply rebounded off, and she grinned heavily.

"Starclan superpowers beat Harry Potter powers, stupid," she grinned, raising her palm and blasting him off his feet with her totally boss Iron Man trick. He flew into the air and into a pile of random cats. Scowling, he raised up in the air and screamed, "Petrificis Totalis!" But suddenly, from out of nowhere, Lionblaze totally randomly appeared, a scar on his forehead.

"Behold, I am Furry Potter, the one destined to destroy you!" He screamed, throwing himself at Voldekat. Voldekat screamed curses and began to throw more spells at him, but they simply bounced off of Furry.

"Protected by my mother's blood. Ha!" Furry screamed, flexing his muscles.

"Furry!" A she-cat voice screamed.

"Hermeownie! Get over here!" A ginger cat screamed, his eyes cross.

"No, PrrrrRon! I need to help Furry!" the tawny cat screamed, who Rosekit realized was Tawnypelt, and the ginger cat was Foxleap, whose pelt was distinctly ginger, now that Rosekit realized it.

"Avada Keda-"

"NO! FURRY!" a huge figure lumbered into the scene, illuminated by lightning, who was..Midnight the Badger?

"Hagggrrrid? What are YOU doing here?" Hermeownie scorned, looking Hagggrrrid up and down.

"I'm here to save Furry, of course!" the badger scowled.

"None of it matters! None will live while the other survives!" Furry screamed. "It must be us!"

"While you are distracted- AVADA KEDAVRA!" Blackstar screeched. Furry crumpled to the ground, his eyes dull and lifeless behind his round glasses.

"No! Furry!" Hermeownie screamed, and PrrrRon had to hold her back by her scruff. Another ginger she-cat was crying, Sandstorm.

"Jumpnnie! Furry's dead, he's dead!" Hermeownie screeched, and Jumpnnie and Hermeownie cried together in a corner.

Voldekat raised his paws. "WHO WILL JOIN ME? FURRY POTTER IS DEAD, YOU FOOLS!"

At first, silence reigned. Then, one cat, completely white, that Rosekit recognized as Cloudtail, stepped forward.

"Purraco, come forward, my boy, your father will be proud, very proud..." Voldekat purred, looking Purraco with cold admiration.

"Any others to join me?" he asked, his paws open again.

A cat with golden-brown fur and a distinct rebels look on his face that Rosekit realized was Brambleclaw stepped forward. For a moment, all was silence, then he narrowed his eyes and said coldly, "We'll never follow you. Furry will always be with us in our hearts!" A cheer rose behind him.

"Go Neowville!" Hermeownie cheered.

"SILENCE!" Voldekat screeched, and silence fell as he said.

"If you follow me, you will be greatly rewarded..." he tempted. The cats shifted, looking uncomfortable, but none other stepped forward. Suddenly, Furry leapt up from Voldekat's feet and screamed, "SIIIKE! I AIN'T DEAD, FOO!" A collective cheer rose up from the crowd ("GO FURRY! GO FURRY!) and Voldekat's face contorted into a stunned position. Then, before someone could say, "Go!" Voldekat said, 'AVADA KEDAVRA!" and Furry said, "EXPELLARMIUS!" and their two spells linked, one green and another red. For a moment, both seemed to be struggling, the red overtaking the red, then the red overtaking the green. Power spewed from the links, creating slopping sparks of red and green pour onto the ground. Then Furry leaped up with unexpected power, and the red began to overtake the green. Voldekat's face was shining with sweat, and he pushed harder, but the green was moving closer and closer to him...and with a large BANG, the green reached him, and he was sinking to the ground, now his eyes lifeless... all the cats screamed with joy, and Furry was hoisted up on their shoulders...and with a gigantic purple flash, the storm was gone, and was the whole Harry Potter scene. Cloudtail was Cloudtail, and the same was with Tawnypelt, Lionblaze, Midnight (who had dissappeared), Blackstar, and Sandstorm, and all the others who were affected. The gigantic piles of cats rose up, stunned, rubbing their eyes. All signs of wands were gone.

"Well..that was odd..." Rosekit trailed off.

"We were lucky. That one ended quickly. We still have to brave the two more Twoleg World attacks. Let's hope they're not as bad." Firestar said. Many cats nodded in agreement.

"For now, there should be a truce between all of the clans! Only until the attacks are over, though," Firestar quickly added, seeing the seething looks on all of the leader's faces.

"I agree," the cats murmured amongst their selves.

"Then it's settled. Let's brace ourselves; the next attack should be soon." Blackstar pointed out.

So the cats waited.

_I do not own Warriors of Harry Potter. All rights go to J.K. Rowling and Erin Hunter._

_~Spotteh_


	31. Chapter 31

_Couldn't find an alternate name for Gale. Sorry. ~Spotteh_

The storm clouds gathered around the horizon, and the clans braced themselves for the next attack. Leafpool bowed her head, serious for a moment, for she had a feeling that she was about to be transformed by the attack. And she was right. With the next blow of the wind, all of the clans were suddenly in a lush green environment, though some were in ridiculous clothing, that looked like Berry's Tattletail Nose's clothing comeback, which would naturally make himself happy, because that clothing style went out of the game long ago.

Leafpool raised her head again and found herself a totally different person with a totally different mind. For a moment, she forgot that she was Leafpool. She was now Catniss, one of the twelve tributes for the Hunger Games. A voice spoke overhead in a loud bossy tone.

"Welcome, welcome, to the 24th annual Hunger Games! These tributes have style! They won't eat themselves to death this time, I hope..."

But Catniss noticed that the voice sounded a bit squeaky... she whipped around and saw..was that _Rosekit_...? in a ridiculous pink getup with an enormous pink feather stuck up quick in her ear!

"Tributes, you may enter the field now!" Rosekit squeaked.

Suddenly, another wind gusted, and Catniss was in a circle of some sort...she turned around many times, but her eyes didn't register until the voice called from up above...

"Ten..."

Then Catniss noticed the other twenty four tributes standing around her, looking as utterly confused as she was.

"Nine..."

Mc Donald's, Burger King, Sonic...why were there twelve fast food restaurants in a circle...?

"Eight..."

Whataburger, Hardees, White Castle...

"Seven... Six..."

Wendy's, Burger Chef, Shakie's Pizza...

"Five, Four..."

Taco Bell?

"Three...two..."

And why exactly..?

"One."

And in an explosion of sound and sight, the games exploded into action.

"MCDONALD'S FRIES ARE MIIIINE!" a cat screamed that Leafpool somehow double-knew was Cat-to (Cato) and Brambleclaw.

"OHHHH NO THEY AIN'T! THOSE ARE MIIINE!" another cat screeched, this time another two-timed cat... Clawve (Clove) who was also Tawnypelt. She took out a hidden knife and slashed at a bit of his fur, that she barely missed. Catniss turned around, and already saw Taco Bell filled with cats who were fighting for the last bits of the Doritos Tacos. Catniss fled up a tree, then noticed a cat running towards her, motioning for her to come down. Eyes squinting, Catniss slowly slid down...to see both Pawta, who was Lionblaze, ( I know it's awkward, but I'm just choosing random cats for these things, don't think anything of it; technically, they're different cats now) and a loaf of fresh bread.

"Here, I baked this for you!" he cheerfully said, handing it to her joyously. Catniss gave him a weird look and took it.

All of the sudden, a random cat leapt out of the bushes. "NO, CATNISS IS MIIIINE, BABY, MIIIINE!" Catniss recognized this cat as both Gale and Jayfeather, though his usual blind, electric blue eyes were seeing.

"No! Catniss will always be mine! I saved her life with my burnt bread!" Pawta screeched, bowling Gale over.

"Well, I hunted with her! I help supply her family for years and years and what do YOU do, bread boy? You sit around icing stupid cakes!"

"MY CAKES ARE LOVELY, THANK YOU VERY MUCH! And what are you even doing here? You're not a tribute!"

"Well...I really don't know..." Gale said, looking confused.

"TEAM GALE!"

"TEAM PAWTA!"

"TEAM FINNICK!" a random cat screamed from across the arena.

"TEAM EDWARD...oh..." another voice said from again far away.

Catniss had long left the argument. She had been captive of the wondrous smells and sights that were McDonalds. As she approached the drive thru, she muttered to herself, " You are going to get a Chicken Wrap and a bottle of water, a chicken wrap and a bottle of water.." and then she arrived.

Slapping a paw to her face, she screamed into the microphone, "OH, I JUST CAN'T DO IT! GIVE ME A DOUBLE-DOUBLE BIC MAC WITH A SIDE OF SUPER-LARGE FRIES, WITH TWO CHEESEBURGERS AND A CHOCOLATE SHAKE! AND DON'T FORGET THE MCRIBS! OR THE CHERRY BERRY CHILLER! OR THE STRAWBERRY-LEMONADE FREEZED!" (come on, you all know this is you at McDonald's...)

A pleasant voice spoke through the mike. "Alrighty, that will be 10.35. Thank you!"

"Oh...and a chicken wrap and a bottle of water..." Catniss added weakly, feeling ashamed. Strolling up to the first window, she paid the price and received her food. Slinking in a corner, she hoarded her food and got rid of the Chicken Wrap, but not the bottle of water. As she ate, a twig suddenly snapped. She whipped around to find one of her Big Mac's...gone. Another twig snapped, and a large amber eye peeked out from behind a nearby tree, then widened when it saw Catniss looking straight at it. She ducked right behind the trunk again, and Catniss rolled her eyes.

"I see you, PrrrRue. You can come out now."

PrrrRue stepped casually out into sight. "Hello, Catniss," she whispered, bowing her head. Catniss patted the space between them. "Here, come sit. You can share my food."

Catniss and PrrrRue ate in silence until PrrrRue said, "The Careers have gotten all of the food, the Big Macs, the Fries, and the milkshakes. There's nothing left! If we don't get it, we'll starve!"

Catniss gave a cunning smile in PrrrRue's direction. "Then we'll have to, ah, change the odds then, won't we? Here, come closer, I have a plan..."

Catniss grabbed a stick and began tracing a map and battle plans in the dirt.

"So, we start here...then Foxface is here..."

...

"Hey, Clawve, hand me a big Mac, will ya?"

"You've had too many today, Thrash! (Thresh). That's your fourth one!" Clawve hissed back, baring her teeth and hissing menacingly . "Besides, this one's mine!" She shoved a huge mouthful of the stuff and burped loudly.

"Fine, I'll go get it myself!" Thrash complained like an overgrown two year old. Stomping around, he grabbed one of the many from the pile, and tore out a huge hunk of it with his razor-sharp teeth.

"All right, PrrrRue, you go!" Catniss whispered from a nearby bush into a walkie-talkie. She got a response immideately. "Copy, Gummy Bears, Purple Fox is on the move!"

"I copy." Catniss said, cocking her marsh-o-shooter 3000 (the new prototype).

"HEY SUCKERZ! OVER THEREEEE!" PrrrRue leapt out of a bush and pointed to Foxface, who they knew from certain sources would be there. They would be distracted, and go after her, while PrrrRue pillaged the food. They would then leave, milkshakes and all.

But there seemed to be one flaw in their plan. Catniss squinted her eyes. That didn't look like Foxface...instead, it looked like a real..live..."

"PrrrRue! IT'S A FOOOOX!"

Clawve whipped around to see Catniss PrrrRue sprinting towards the food. "THE FRIES, THE FRIES!" Catniss screamed. Clawve narrowed her eyes, but was forced to battle the fox with the rest of the carreers. Hissing curses underneath her breath, she leapt into battle.

Catniss, her paws full of Big Macs and milkshakes, motioned for PrrrRue to follow her, but she could tell that the awesomeness of McDonald's was overtaking her. She was gorging in fries, her mouth growing bigger and bigger, as did her body.

"PrrrRue! Come herre! We need to go!" Catniss cried, but she could tell that it was too late for PrrrRue. She was eating herself to death!

Suddenly, as large around as a basketball, PrrrRue stopped and flopped over on her side, moaning.

"PrrrRue, NO!" Catniss screamed, slapping her face.

"Catniss...I can see it now...this was my destiny...to eat..." PrrrRue shuddered. With a final cough, her head fell limp and the sparkle of life left her eyes.

"NOOO! MCDONALDS...I'LL NEVER EAT THERE AGAIN!" Catniss screamed, pounding the ground, then thinking, "_Who am I kidding...?"_

Taking a moment to wreath PrrrRue in a wreath of Big Macs, French fries, and drinking straws, Catniss worked hard. Then, seeing that the Careers had defeated the fox and were starting to come back, she fled into the forest.

Lighting flashed, winds howled, and all of the sudden, the warrior cats were themselves again, though Firestar was clinging to Lionblaze, but peeled himself off, disgusted that he wasn't Peeta anymore.

"Why couldn't you stay the same.." he grumbled.

_the next chapter is the last one in the book. Enjoy!_


	32. Chapter 32

_Hey guys! This is the last chapter of the Warriors Comedy book. I AM however making a sequel, but it might not come out in a few weeks, just saying. I would like to say thanks for sticking with me throughout the whole book, and thanks for making the story so popular!_

_~Spotty _

The clans waited. They could feel the last attack hovering in the air, just before them just about to slam down and-

WHAM!

All of the sudden, what seemed too many cats were shoved into a small elevator. Puurcy Jackson, a.k.a. Jayfeather, opened his bright blue eyes. Annaburreth, also Dovewing, was beside him, looking way too uncomfortable.

"Come on, Puurcy, why did you invite them ALL to come see the throne room to return the lightning bolt?" she complained, wiggling uncomfortably.

Puurcy shrugged. "Well, they offered us nachos. That's not exactly a deal you can put down," he pointed out. Annaburreth rolled her eyes and crossed her paws.

The song 'Too Close to Love You' by Alex Clare began playing overhead. Many cats broke into snorts of laughter, wiggling against other pelts. Suddenly, a large DING! rang over, and the elevator doors opened, cats spilling out.

"Ooof!" Annaburreth landed squarely on top of Puurcy, lashing her tail angrily. Suddenly, the elevator doors slammed shut on her tail!

"OOOUCH!" she screamed, yanking her tail out of the small spot. Approaching the throne room, Olympus was as magnificent as ever, the houses gleaming and happy animals playing around. Grrover, or Firestar, began to walk beside Puurcy.

"Now there's some things you have to know about the gods, Puurcy," he nervously told him, shoving a Pepsi can into his mouth and chewing on it.

"Yeah, yeah, I know Grrrover, there's no need to tell me," Puurcy waved him off.

"No Purrrcy, I'm serious-"

"You don't need to tell me!" Puurcy insisted, whipping his tail back and forth.

Just then, the throne room appeared. All of the cats stepped onto the marble floors, and above them stood the giant thrones and the awesome statues. The thrones were all occupied, and the gods were looking upon the demicats with great distaste. Zzzues, sitting proudly upon his throne with his tail wrapped around his paws majestically, held out his paw.

"Now, Purrcy Jackson I expect you to...to..." and all of the sudden, his head dangled down and he fell asleep, his jaws agape and snoring loudly.

"They don't call him Zzzzues for nothing, Purrcy," Grover whispered in Puurcy's ear.

"Zzzues! ZZZUES! WAKE UP!" Poseidon screamed.

"W-wha? Oh, right, I was about to thank you forrr...zzzzz..." Zzzues's head dropped like a stone.

"Okay, that's it! He's been doing this ALL day!" Poseidon sighed. Brandishing a fishing pole, he whipped it around a few times like a lasso, then WHAM! He cracked Zzzues upon the head.

"OUCH! I mean...thanks Poseidon... like I was saying, Purrcy Jackson, thank you for bringing the lightning bolt back, and we no longer shall blame you," Zzues exclaimed. Puurcy bowed down and presented the lightning bolt to him, which sizzled as it met his hand.

"Annaburreth..my dear daughter.." A constipated voice spoke from the side of Zzzues. Annaburreth whipped around to see..Athena? No, this could not be Athena. This Athena was so obese, that she was a found kitty-ball with little flailing hands and feet! Alas, this was not Athena.. this was Athickna!

"Mother...what has happened to you?" Annaburreth gasped, shoving a paw to her mouth.

"Ah, my dear...Ghirardelli Chocolates are wonderful..." Athickna retorted, shoving a caramel and chocolate one out of nowhere and shoving it into her mouth. "You can't just do this to yourself!" her daughter cried.

"Of course I can. I'm a goddess. Now boys, heave ho!"

All of the male gods groaned and reluctantly got to their paws. Leaping out of their thrones, they rolled Athickna out of her throne and to Annaburreth.

"My daughter, I'm so proud of you...but I WON'T be if you marry THAT scum!" she screeched, pointed a chocolately finger at Puurcy. "Mooom..." Annaburreth groaned, slapping a paw to her face.

"That's all I have to say. Now boys, HEAVE! HO!"

"HEAVE! HO!" the gods cried as they used all of their godly strength to shove her back into her throne.

"Now," Zzzues continued, now on his throne again with his tail again wrapped around his paws, "as I was saying, you are no longer blamed for stealing the bolt-"

"OH YES HE SHALL!" A voice boomed from beneath them. With magnificent red smoke, a figure approached from the underworld, one second a shape, ever changing, then...one. Hades. Or was it?

"You spelled BOLT wrong!" Hates screamed, shaking his butt in Zzues's face.

"Aaand, that's Hates, the god of all of the haters on the internet," Grover said in Puurcy's ear.

"Yeah.."

"And why did you have to stop the war, Zzzues? I bet you couldn't even spell disaster! HA HA! D-I-S-A-S-T-E-R! You people with little punctuation!" Hates screamed.

Zzzues shook his head. "Hates, who cares about spelling?" He wearily said.

"I DO!" a voice spat from behind them.

Clairhisse stood boldly behind them, her new electric staff sparkling with energy. "Come here, Jackson, let me beat you to a pulp!" she screamed, stabbing her staff into the ground. It seemed to spark with even more electricity, the stuff almost spilling out of the staff.

"Not my son, Clairhisse! Not even in your dreams! You know, I modeled the whale out of you," Poseidon said, snapping his fingers. The whole throne room OOOO'd.

"YOU NEED SOME ICE FOR THAT _**BURN, **_CLAIRHISSE?" Athickna screamed.

Clairhisse's (or Rosekit's) face went red. "JUST BECAUSE I'M SMALL DOSEN'T MEAN-"

And all of the sudden, the attack ended.

They were simply the four clans stuck in Thunderclan territory again, blinking in the new sunlight. Then..

"YAAAAAAAY! WE MADE IT!" Rosekit squealed, jumping in the air and pumping her paw. All of Thunderclan began updating their Face Book accounts, and their Instagram's and for all of the old cats, their MySpace's, saying about how they survived.

"But wait! Dosen't this mean that we're all about to die? Spottedfire7 isn't going to write another book!" Firestar questioned, looking to Rosekit, who answered with a blank stare.

"Did I say that?" "Yes, you did!" Firestar angrily spat, looking at her expectantly.

For a moment, silence rained. Then, Rosekit screamed, "YOU JUST GOT PWNDDDDD! I WAS JOKING, IDIOTS! YOU GOT ALL ROWLED UP FOR NOTHING!"

The clans gave a collective sigh, chattering and laughter breaking out. Then, Blackstar had the sudden knowledge to look up at the...full moon.

"Hey guys! It's a full moon! There's a truce anyway!" he said. All of the cats gazed upward, sighing at the beautiful full moon.

"Well, instead of a meeting, we should PAR-TAY!" Firestar screamed. "THUNDERCLAN'S PLACE AT SEVEN!"

The clans cheered and broke away.

And so, that night, all they did was pretty much have fun. Catmint was exchanged, many attack stories were told, and they simply had a partying night.

Because that's what they do, and where would the world be without...

Fun?

_End of Book One_


End file.
